Reflections

Happy New Years: Non-Resolutions

2012-01-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

The start of this new year was interesting to say the very least. I find it mildly amusing that while most people set goals to work out more and overpopulate gyms and boot camps within the first few weeks of January I ended up missing a day and a half of work and skipping Camp Gladiator for two weeks. What happened? The creeping crud as one of our salesmen calls it. Started as a dry cough and became a plague that swept through my office and took a few of us down. Add to that major work stress and this has not been a warm and fuzzy start to 2012. However, as usual, through even the "creeping crud", or perhaps because of it, God has been teaching me a stinking lot. I plan to go into more detail in future posts, but I will leave you with this for now; I don't make resolutions as they tend to fail fairly quickly, instead I make Prayer Lists. This sounds way over-spiritual or hyper religious and I rather cringe to write the phrase but it just makes more sense to me. Making resolutions is based on my will power, making prayer lists means I'm reminded that I can't do squat on my own. Hopefully sometime soon (when my brain isn't fried from putting together bids for our salesmen) I am going to sit down and write one out, but for now I will be thankful that God teaches me no matter what, and that He uses the crud for our good and His glory.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T12:37:00.001-08:00

Under Authority: Reflections on Sovereignty

2011-12-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, 'Go!' and he goes, and to another, 'Come!' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he does it." Matthew 8:8-10

Matthew 8 describes two scenes in which Jesus performs miraculous healings. The first is a leper, the second, a servant of a Roman centurion, a Gentile. Both are radical, both reveal faith in the ability of the Christ to heal, and both express a willingness to accept His will in the matter. What has always confused me, however, was the speech of the centurion in verses 8-10. Certainly, it makes sense that he might feel unworthy in Jesus' presence, but why on earth does he begin to talk about authority? In the past, it appeared to me as a sort of random rant that had nothing to do with anything. Rabbit trail maybe? In scripture? Probably not.

To add to my confusion, just after this little speech, scripture says that Jesus marveled at his words and claimed to have never witnessed such faith in anyone in Israel. Maybe he was just ignoring the rabbit trail. Again, not a likely conclusion. Tonight, however, I began to understand why the centurion begins to speak of authority. He was not simply going on about his responsibilities or bragging about his power, rather, he was acknowledging Christ's authority over physical ailments. He likened his own ability to command soldiers to Jesus' ability to command sickness or pain to do His will. He understood that this man had authority over our very flesh, and this was why Jesus points out his great faith. If the servant was not healed, it wasn't because the Son of Man did not have the authority to do so, it would have been because He did not will to do so.

What a hard and awesome concept to wrestle with. We pray for healing, we pray for miracles, we pray for our way and when it doesn't happen our faith is often shaken. But what if, along with the centurion, we believed deep within ourselves that our good God has the authority to heal, but may simply choose not to on the basis of a wisdom we can't possibly understand? We might just live our lives differently. We might realize that our way may not (is probably not) the best way. We might even find peace amidst physical suffering, knowing that God is good and sovereign and will not with hold His best from us.

How terrifying it would be to worship a god who did not have this authority? He could be sweet and all that, but completely powerless, sitting by and watching just as helplessly as one of us. Do we really want to worship a god like that? The fact is that He does have authority over all things, that He is good, and that His will will be done.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 30

2011-12-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 30, 2011: That I can't do a dang thing on my own. "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins..." (Ephesians 2:1) "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24). The older I get, the more I realize that at the center of my being, I am a powerless sinner. In early years, I thought myself a good person. Yes, as a good reformed Christian I knew I ~~was~~ am a sinner saved by grace and that my righteous works apart from God were like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) but I know that deep down I really didn't believe that, and my thoughts and emotions about other people proved that. Hatred of sin is one thing, indignation and animosity towards one created in the image of God is quite another. But over the years, God in His great mercy has begun to humble me. Not in a self-focused, degrading, "I suck" sort of way, but in a realization that no matter what I do sin is right there with me (Romans 7:21). Even my "good" thoughts and prayers are marred with the desire to serve or comfort or worship myself, and I often find myself frustrated with the idea that nothing I do is pure. I am starting to believe, however, that this may very well be the point. That realization that I am helpless on my own, that I can never hit the mark of God's perfection, and that I MUST rely on the sacrifice and good works of His son for my salvation and the help of the Holy Spirit for Holy living, is true freedom, is the gospel. The moment I begin to believe I have no need for Christ's sacrifice and for the empowering work of God's Spirit living within me is exactly when I will fail. I am so thankful for God's infinite mercy, and I can say along with Paul, "Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 7:24) and to rejoice that "it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:8-10)

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 29

2011-12-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, December 7, 2011: Amy Flach. We are no longer in the month of November (obviously) but I would still like to finish up my 30 Days of Thankfulness. The week after Thanksgiving I got "promoted" (?) to Sales Secretary and began training for the position. This meant overtime and crashing nearly the moment I got home. Now that training is over and my brain is functioning outside of work again, I am going to write the last two I meant to write on November 29th and 30th. For the 29th day, I am thankful for our Accounting Assistant Amy Flach. She has been so helpful to me at TMC, so encouraging, and such a good friend. I truly don't know what I would do without her there. God is gracious beyond my imagination. Thanks Amy for always being there.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 28

2011-11-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

Monday, November 28, 2011: Crystal Gellenthin. At work, I sit at the font desk. We joke that I am the door keeper and that no one gets past me without a run down and password. Ok, I'm kidding about the password, but the point is, someone has to be up there to answer the door and the phones. Enter Crystal to save the day. Crystal sits at my desk while I go to lunch. Thanks Crystal!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 27

2011-11-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

Sunday, November 27, 2011: Jessica Meyers and Kristen Novak. God has blessed me so much in the last few years with wonderful friends, especially in college. These two girls got me through some hard times, laughed with him, cried with me, and have continued to be blessings in my life. Jess, thanks so much for speaking logic to my emotionalism and being willing to confront me in my ridiculousness, Kristen, thanks so much for your empathy... and for being my unofficial roommate summer 2007. I miss watching Stargate with the two of you as well... thanks for getting me sucked into it. I thank God for you two and I hope you know how much y'all mean to me.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 26

2011-11-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

Saturday, November 26, 2011: God's perfect timing. I am a very impatient person and I don't think that our instant gratification culture has made it any better. I want what I want when I want it and I get antsy and whiny when I don't get it. The thing is, God's timing is perfect. He knows what we need and when we need it, and if we are His children, His plans for us are for our best and for the advancement of His kingdom. This isn't something I always believe though I know it to be true, but it's a good thing to remember, and to be thankful for. The hard thing is realizing that it may never be the perfect time for me to have something, and therefore I won't have it, but then I can be thankful that again, God has the best plans in mind for me. So while I am waiting for things I hope to have, I will thank Him for being both good and sovereign.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 25

2011-11-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

Friday, November 25, 2011: My brother. Sometimes we don't get along, but we can always laugh and I know we will always be there for each other. Thanks for being there Thomas. I love you!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 24

2011-11-24T14:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:6-7 NIV

Thursday, November 24, 2011: Having all of my family together for Thanksgiving... and apple pie.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 23

2011-11-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 23, 2011: My job. After a year of looking and living with my parents I am thankful to have income. God provides, even if it's not really in the way you expect. He has taught me a great deal through this situation and I hope to cling to these lessons. One of my prayers now is that He will help me to seek to do my best where I am and that He will continue to guide my steps.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 22

2011-11-22T14:10:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, November 22, 2011: Kirsten “Kiki” Oliphant. Starting in Jr. High I entered into out church’s youth group. After quite a few years of feeling a bit on the outside socially (I have come to terms with the fact that I was a pretty stinkin’ weird kid) it was wonderful to become part of a group… even if a good majority of us were nerdy church rats. Through those three awkward years I was taught wonderful biblical teaching and my freshman year of high school, our church hired a girls youth worker named Kirsten St. Claire. I thought she was pretty much the coolest person I’d ever met, and despite that, she took the time to disciple me for the first two and a half years of high school. She instilled in me a deeper love for God and a passion to work with girls younger than myself. Thanks Kiki for praying for and challenging me in my faith. I can’t tell you how much God has done through you!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Days 20-21

2011-11-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

Sunday, November 20, 2011: Pastor Carter Sanger (and family). Thank you Carter for all you do, for persevering through the hard times, for challenging and exhorting us, for working hard to assess the health of our church, and for seeking God's direction for His ministry.

Monday, November 21, 2011: Pastor Nathan Carico (and family). Thank you Nathan for your hard work, for listening, for praying, for taking on a thousand and one tasks, for preaching the gospel and challenging us, for seeking God's direction and wisdom for His ministry at and through Cornerstone, for picking up my slack.

We are so heartily blessed to have two pastors who care deeply for their flock and for the ministry of the word and I hope we all thank God daily for them. Keep them in your prayers and do not take them for granted. And please do not limit your pastor appreciation to one month out of the year!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Days 18 and 19

2011-11-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

On the roof of the church in Arevalo

Friday, November 18, 2011: My Daddy. I guess it's appropriate that I am writing this today as it is his birthday, even though I'm writing it for Friday. Thank you Daddy for always being there for me, for your prayers, advice, generous spirit, and financial assistance ;-). I love you and will miss you next month. Christmas won't be the same without you. Happy Birthday!

Saturday, November 19, 2011: My Mommy. I have to write about them both at the same time, it just seems wrong otherwise. Thank you mom for your generous spirit, prayers, advice, and logic. I love our Monday lunches together and am so thankful we are able to meet.

I thank God for both of you every day.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 17

2011-11-17T18:39:00.000-08:00

Thursday, November 17, 2011: Learning how to cook. While working at Christ EPC in Houston, the staff took a cooking class during the summer taught by the great foodie Kandy Steen. I think I've always enjoyed cooking, but those classes really made me love it. The fellowship, the stories, the creativity; there is so much more involved in cooking than just food. I am so thankful for the experiences I've had and the ability to share recipes with others. Tonight I am attempting to make breakfast pizza a la Kelly Chartier. The results are pending. Hopefully it will turn out well. Thankful for the experience either way!

Whole wheat dough

First cook book from Kandy, next years was called "Nasty Bad"

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 16

2011-11-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 16, 2011: Wednesday night music practice. I've been playing the guitar (fairly badly) since I was about a sophomore in high school inspired by our girls youth director at my church and one of the other girls in my youth group. I've never really had the opportunity to use it as I'd like, to help lead worship, with any consistency until recently when our associate pastor offered to let me play with the music team. I'm so often blown away by worship, being given the ability to praise our God and King, but I am especially moved (that's not the right word but I can't find it... convicted, baffled, excited...) when I can play and sing. By no means am I a great guitarist, often Nathan has to help me with chords that I don't know and I'm hopeless when it comes to bar chords, but it's amidst that weakness that God speaks to me. I am thankful for the patience of the other worship team members, Nathan's work in overseeing just about everything, the sound guys (Jack Kutzer, Mark Jorgansen)... it's an amazing ministry and I am super blessed to be apart of it.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 15

2011-11-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, November 15, 2011: Sleep. I am so often an insomniac, that I really need to remember to thank God when I am able to sleep. What a blessing it is to have a few hours for the body to just rest. Thank you, Lord for sleep!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 14

2011-11-14T22:09:00.000-08:00

Monday, November 14, 2011 (yes, I realize it is now technically the 15th, but I'm going to believe I wasn't late): Heart to Heart. At my local church there is a woman's ministry called Heart to Heart in which women mentor one another. I did it for the first time last year and had a wonderful experience with our pastor's wife Rhonda Sanger, in which she counseled me, offered practical ways of helping me, and prayed for me. I am very thankful for all of the time she spent and for her continued presence in my life. God has blessed me so much. This year, my mentor is Janette Cogliandro. I am so looking forward to what God is going to teach me through her as well. Thank you ladies for giving sacrificially of your time and thank you Lord for putting them in my life.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 13

2011-11-13T19:41:00.000-08:00

Mmm tea

Sunday, November 13, 2011: Chamomile Tea. Recently, I have become a fan of hot tea, and as an insomniac, chamomile tea has become one of my favorites. I very much enjoy the fact that it helps me chill out before bedtime, and sometimes it actually helps me sleep. I am very thankful for this particular tea.

Grilled Goat Cheese, Caramelized Onion, Spinach, and Bell Pepper Sandwich

2011-11-13T16:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have a goat cheese addiction

Recipe:

Two slices of bread
Crumbled goat cheese
Purple Onion
Red Bell Pepper
Spinach
Olive Oil
Sugar
Salt

Add olive oil, sugar, and salt (the secret ingredient to all things tasty) to a pan along with sliced purple onion. Saute until soft. Add red bell pepper and continue to saute until the onions are brownish, then add spinach. When the spinach is wilted, pile veggies onto the bread and add goat cheese. Add more olive oil to the pan (I burned mine because I forgot to do this) and cook until browned on both sides. Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 12

2011-11-12T11:29:00.000-08:00

Saturday, November 12, 2011: Kelly Chartier. During my senior year of high school, I caught what I'm sure most students catch those last few months of grade school: senioritis. I got antsy, impatient, and had some of the worst insomnia I'd had up to that point. Part of me was so irked that I was willing to do anything to get out of my house. I even thought about going straight into mission work as opposed to going to college, clearly an overemotional decision that probably would not have ended well. Thankfully, God blessed me with a girls youth director through my youth group, Kelly Chartier. We met nearly every week I think of that year. Most of the time she just listened, but her prayers and counsel got me through a difficult time. To this day she continues to encourage me and I am so thankful for her. Thanks Kelly!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 11

2011-11-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Friday, November 11, 2011: Antibiotics and Mucinex. Need I really say more?

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 10

2011-11-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Thursday, November 10, 2011: Sharli Takekawa. In the fourth grade, my family and I moved back to Texas after three years in Georgia. Moving is always hard, even when moving back to God's country ( ;-)) and as we moved during summer time, the prospect of making friends was a bit daunting. But the apartment complex pool is a fabulous place, not only to make a fool of yourself, but also to meet the other children. That was where I met Sharli, a wonderful friend through whom God has taught me so, so much. Thank you Sharli for being such a good friend, for praying with and for me, for sharing your creativity, for challenging me constantly. Love ya girl!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 9

2011-11-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 9, 2011: Megan Wilkins. In August 2010, my job at Christ EPC ended. I was very sad to be leaving, had yet to find a job, and was moving back in with my parents. While I had already mourned the loss of this job for months, the sadness really hadn't gone away. However, amidst all this, God brought me a new friend in Megan Wilkins. I am so thankful for her friendship, counsel, prayers and help with the youth and when I realize that I might not have become her friend had I not lost my job at CEPC, I find myself comforted.

Thanks Megan for being a wonderful friend!

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 8

2011-11-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, November 8, 2011: Obedience.

⁵ Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

^{⁷ but made himself nothing,}

taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

^{⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,}

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

^{⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place}

and gave him the name that is above every name,

^{¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,}

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

^{¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,}

to the glory of God the Father.

Christ became obedient for the disobedient, for me. How I need to remind myself of this constantly.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Days 6-7

2011-11-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

Late again, but still thankful! Here goes!

Sunday, November 6, 2011: Yesterday I was exceedingly thankful for many things including but not limited to excellent preaching, communion with my local church, and a great church luncheon. The thing I want to focus on though was my prayer/accountability partner Marcelina. I texted her last night for prayer and she called soon after to pray with me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Go stalk her at My Cup of Tea!
Monday, November 7, 2011: Small compliments. This morning, a Monday (everyone's "favorite" day of the week) a gentleman who came into the office told me I looked "lovely" today (he has the coolest accent). It was small and simple but made me smile none the less. I often get irritated by minor things, therefore, I am trying my upmost to instead take stock of the little things I am thankful for, no matter how insignificant they may seem.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Day 5

2011-11-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Saturday, November 5, 2011: Vibram running shoes. A little expensive, but my knees feel better, my calves are stronger, and my race time is faster. They look ridiculous, but I absolutely love them.

Thanksgiving Countdown: Reflections on Thankfulness

2011-11-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

Ever plan to do one of those challenges, then forget to start on the right day? That's pretty much what I did, but rather than give up, I'm going to play catch up! The goal? Thirty days of things I'm thankful for. Go has been teaching me A LOT about attitude among less than desirable circumstances, and as meditating on what you're thankful for typically helps in having a joyful attitude, I decided to take a little challenge... too bad I missed the first four days of the month. Doh!

Thankfully (see how I did that there), I remembered today. So here it comes in warp speed, my first four days of thankfulness wrapped up in one post:

Tuesday, November 1, 2011: Tuesday night bible study. I love my local church in Katy, but as there are very few people there my age (and none that aren't married) it's sometimes nice to hang out with some single people. The studies and discussions are always good, and the fellowship is always refreshing.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011: Lunch with my mommy. Since I moved back to the states from Peru, my mom and I try and have lunch at least once a week. I love that time with her and hope we can continue doing it for a long time.
Thursday, November 3, 2011: Vietnamese Noodle Houses. Kind of a silly one, but these have become my new obsession. I visited one for the first time on our mission trip into Houston this summer and was hooked.
And today, Friday, November 4: My job. Not my dream job by any means, but an amazing provision from the Lord after over a year of hunting. God has taught me so much already, and I am so thankful that this job has allowed me to continue working with the girls at my local church.

So what about you? Anything you're specifically thankful for today?

Sunday Dinner

2011-10-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sauce a la Kiki. Check out her blog over at I Still Hate Pickles. She has lots of amazing recipes and great insight into parenting, among other things!

MIA: Reflections on Lessons at Work

2011-10-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

Whew! Have things ever been crazy. Since starting this job and trying to continue meeting with the girls on the weekends I feel like I have no time. It makes me appreciate the moments I do have to myself, and long for just a little bit of solitude. But God has been teaching me a lot and I am so thankful to have income, even though I don't particularly enjoy my work. He's reminding me that His greatest desire for me is to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, and that some times you have to experience difficult or uncomfortable things in order for that to happen. This job often makes me uncomfortable, sometimes it's even made me cry (I'm a bit of a marshmallow), but I'm starting to look at it like a workout: if it's not hard you're not going to see any change.

I'm also learning a lot about my attitude. This lesson is two fold really. The first part came with the realization that joy and even happiness are entirely based on attitude. Romans 12:2 talks about how we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, that if we do so we will be able to test and approve of God's will. I doubt I could do a great job of really fleshing this verse out, but what it's taught me lately is that I need to allow God to renew and change my mind that I might view the world through His eyes. When He does this, by teaching me about Who He is and what His purpose is, I will begin to understand that His plan is a) for His glory, b) for my good (read, being conformed to the likeness of His Son), and c) much bigger than my little story. When I begin to understand this, how can I possibly be anything but joyful? A hard circumstance comes along and rather than moan and complain I can thank God because I know He is good and sovereign and that there is purpose in it. Of course, I don't always remember this and find myself grumbling and complaining way more often than I should, but when I do I find my emotions set above my circumstances, I find myself joyful.

The second part of this lesson in attitude has come with the realization that I love to believe myself the victim. It's always someone else's fault, people are always against me, and I am always in the right. Sound ego-centric and insane? Of course it is, but then our thoughts, or at least mine are very subtle, they trick me into believing that they are true when they are really absurd! For example, I make a mistake at work and I'm chewed out for it. My automatic response is to make excuses and grumble about the unfairness of the reaction dumped on me. "I'm still new"... "I wasn't really trained that well"... "He/she's just a bitter jerk". See that? Rather than taking responsibility for my mistake I make myself a victim and the other person a criminal. Rather than using the situation to improve, I use it to throw a pity party. The worst part of this is that I murder the one who reacted to my mistake by turning them into the antagonist in my plot by ripping them to shreds in my mind. Even if the way they handled the situation was unfair, my response is equally so! Did they yell at me? Were they sarcastic? Were they unfair? So what!? How many excuses did I just make for myself when I screwed up? How can I not offer them the same leeway I offer myself? I am now the one being unfair and unjust.

Don't read this wrong. The idea could certainly be misunderstood and misused very easily. I'm not learning that I should excuse sin or that I should never be bothered when someone does me wrong, nor am I saying that I'm right in excusing my mistakes or sins in the first place. Rather, I'm learning that I need to show a little mercy on others by seeing my own sinfulness more clearly. I need to stop seeing myself as a victim pitted against this other person and start seeing myself as this persons fellow criminal. I know I'm not explaining this well. After reading anything by C.S. Lewis (lately I've been trying to finish The Weight of Glory) I typically feel like my prose and logic are clumsy at best. But let me try and end this post with an explanation of what I mean. Like this other person, I rebelled against the God of creation, the One by Whom and for Whom all things were made. Like this other person, whoever they are, I fall painfully short of the standard of God's perfection and deserve nothing but condemnation. And like this other person, I am in desperate need of grace. Furthermore, because I have received grace by means of Christ's sacrifice on the cross, how dare I not offer grace to those I perceive as my enemies? That is a great sin indeed.

So though I struggle with being a receptionist, though I often find it uncomfortable and difficult to be in this particular circumstance, God is teaching me a LOT and I am incredibly thankful. Pray that He will continue to conform me to the likeness of His Son and that rather than always play the victim, I will see my own sin in stark contrast to His perfection.

New Breakfast

2011-09-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

I have never been a big fan of breakfast. Breakfast food in general has never been my favorite thing to eat in the world, and I've always looked more forward to lunch or dinner far more than my first meal of the day. Add to it the fact that I've always tried to find something healthy that will keep me full for much longer than an hour and I never really wanted to put much effort into it. In college I often resorted to a diet coke and peanut butter crackers or an Ottis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffin... hardly healthy or long lasting (though tasty). Recently, however, my attitude toward breakfast has changed, mostly due to my discovery of turkey bacon, goat cheese, and cocoanut milk (excellent in coffee), and I'm always looking for new recipes. This weekend, I was told about a delicious recipe a friend of mine had eaten at a farmers market in Houston. Tried it this morning and fell in love.

Recipe:

1/4 cup of Quinoa
Handful of spinach, chopped
Sauteed veggies (I used green peppers and purple onions though I think red peppers would have been better, and you can, of course, use any kind you want)
1 poached egg
Goat cheese (I just sprinkled it on without measuring)

Anybody else have interesting breakfast recipes?

Driven to Prayer: Reflection on Hard Times

2011-09-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

‎"Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word...It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees." Psalm 119:67 & 71

I couldn't bring myself to call what I'm going through suffering, the word almost seems presumptuous especially in light of what I consider real suffering, but I will say that I am not going through an easy time. Why God has me where He does is a mystery to me and I often believe lies that I am somehow inadequate and that is why I am amidst these circumstances. But I had a great conversation today with my pastor that truly uplifted my spirit. God has been showing me lately that the most important thing in life is to be conformed to the likeness of His Son and to run to Him constantly. What conforms us to the likeness of His Son and what makes us run to Him most? Difficulty, tears, longing, sorrow... in comfort we often grow lazy, in good times we are prone to lose sight of Him, and in success we take the credit, but when things suck (sorry Mom and Dad), we are driven to our knees.

Don't get me wrong, this realization, this lesson is not making me skip through the daisies and smile like some sort of deranged Easter Bunny (Yes, I'm very much looking forward to Christmas and Christmas Story), in fact I've had a pretty rotten attitude lately and I definitely cried to my mommy tonight, but there is that strange peaceful joy in my heart, a closeness to my savior that reassures me that He had the best in mind, that His suffering for me was far greater than mine ever could be, and that He will be right beside me all the way through. Right now I'm amidst a tapestry; God sees the whole picture and all I can see are the threads. One day I'll look back and rejoice on the mercy and grace I didn't see before, and for now I will remind myself of the grace and mercy of the cross.

Daily Logic Lesson: Reflections on Fallacies

2011-08-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

I've noticed lately that when people argue, especially on social media such as Facebook or comment seconds under news articles, they generally use horrific logic and emotionalism to try and get their point across. This usually leads to pathetic name calling and no decent discussion gets done. I've noticed this verbally as well, if any discussion happens at all, and so I decided to begin daily logic lessons. I find logical fallacies interesting and unfortunately we are so undereducated in the art of discussion and argument that pretty much all of us use them. So today, I looked up the Straw Man Argument.

"A straw man is a component of an argument and is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position. To 'attack a straw man' is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by replacing it with a superficially similar yet unequivalent proposition (the 'straw man'), and refuting it, without ever having actually refuted the original position."

It would benefit our society to be better at supporting our opinions, especially as Christians. Christ warned His disciples to be shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16), and I think that learning to argue well is probably part of this. So the next time you find yourself in a discussion with anyone really, step back, keep your emotions in check, and avoid using this fallacy.

Short Update: Reflections on God's Plan and Timing

2011-07-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I did not get the job in North Carolina. It makes me sad, discouraged, and frustrated, but I rejoice because I know that is clearly not where God wants me, and I know that He does have a plan for my life. At the moment all I can see are the threads of the tapestry, the brush strokes of the painting. Cheesy metaphors, but I rather like them. This rejection is another part of God's conforming me to the likeness of His Son, of bringing glory to His name. "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called, those He called, He also justified, those He justified, He also glorified."(Romans 8:28-30) We often find comfort in that first verse, but forget to look on to the next two verses. His plans for us are meant to conform us to the likeness of Christ, who justified us by the spilling of His blood, making us His coheirs. Coheirs! We are called coheirs of Christ, His brothers and sisters, God's children. We by no means deserve this. We rebelled against our great Creator who gave us paradise to live in, we rejected Him, despised Him, and then we nailed Him to a tree... yet he makes us His sons and daughters and promises to work our circumstances for good, not just good but best. I will continue to remind myself of these things and hope in His promises. One day I will look back and see how He has guided my steps, but for now I will hold tight to His truths and hope that these words might encourage someone else.

A Post for My Vegetarian Pals

2011-07-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

Looks kind of gross, but is delicious!

Sometimes, it's cheaper to be a vegetarian. Occasionally, I will go meatless simply to save a few bucks and to give my colon a break and it's in these times that I get creative. Last night I was trying to come up with a healthy dinner to eat that didn't require too many ingredients and involved black beans. It was then that I came across black bean burgers. I had to search for a simple recipe for a while but eventually stumbled across this one:

Ingredients:

1/2 onion, diced
1 can black beans, well drained
1/2 cup flour
2 slices bread, crumbled
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp seasoned salt
salt and pepper to taste
oil for frying

Preparation:

Sautee the onions till soft, about 3-5 minutes.

In a large bowl, mash the beans until almost smooth. Add sauteed onions and the rest of the ingredients, except the oil, adding the flour a few tablespoons at a time to combine well. Form bean mixture into patties and fry patties in a small amount of oil until slightly firm.

Because I love guacamole, I topped it with that and made kale chips, which are so simple it's amazing.

Kale chips:

Ingredients:

1 bunch of kale

1 tablespoon of olive oil

Salt!

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (I skipped the parchment paper).
Pull off leaves from the thick stems in bite sized pieces and drizzle with oil and sprinkle with salt.
Back until brown or about 10-15 minutes. It only took mine about nine because I didn't use the whole head.

I thought they were going to be soggy at first but on my first bite I knew I was wrong. Crunchy and light and delicious! Certainly not the same as regular chips but still very good!

Red, White, and Blue! Reflection on Freedom

2011-07-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Franklin

star spangled cupcake! yum!

More importantly than a free nation, however, is a soul freed from the bondage of sin and given peace with its Creator. The price was high; the wrath of God was poured out on His own Son as an atonement for our sin, so that we might be freed from sin and brought into a relationship with God. Today, let's celebrate our freedom in Christ as well as a nation. Take neither for granted.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

Cooking Escapades! Patriotic Style

2011-06-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

One of the best ways to bond with others, in my humble opinion, is to cook with them. Today, one of my Jr. High girls and I made fruit pizza together. Here are pictures and the recipe:

Step 1: Mix 1 cup of sugar, 8oz of cream cheese, and a tub of Cool Whip.

Step 1B: Enjoy yourself while sugar cookie cooks whilst sharing embarrassing moments.

Step 2: After cookie has cooled dump frosting on top... then spread.

Step 3: Decorate with fruit.

Step 4: Enjoy!

Book List

2011-06-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Book list as of June 2011:

When I first began Les Miserables, I was a bit overwhelmed. 1194 pages long, tons of French history, and the first 54 pages or so gave great detail to the priest. Yikes. But when I began reading it again today I finally met Jean Valjean and the story began to pick up. Maybe after I finish this one I can try and tackle War and Peace... but we'll have to see.

As always, Lewis is a wonderful, if not challenging, read. He addresses things in such a way that I never would have thought to, and explains things so well. I am having to read it a little at a time, but I look forward to discovering what he has to say.

Nero Wolfe is my literary junk food, but it's not actually junk food. The mysteries are fairly easy reads but the writing really is very good and he always keeps me guessing and laughing. I read this to give my brain a break from Les Miserables and Weight of Glory. I highly recommend Nero Wolfe to anyone who likes a good mystery.

Another Shameless Plug

2011-06-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

Kiki over at I Still Hate Pickles is one of the best bloggers out there. A bold statement, but then her posts are informative, insightful, and often hilarious... and she's my friend. Right now she has a goal of reaching 200 followers so here is my shameless plug of the week: go check out her blog! Really, you should follow her. Her kiddos always give you a good laugh (as well as her daily disasters), her coupon advice brilliant, her recipes divine, and she's an excellent photographer and artist. So go follow her! You won't regret it.

Shameless plug ended.

New Shoes

2011-06-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

My new favorite shoes.

When most girls begin gabbing about new shoes, they are typically referring to super cute heels with some sort of amazing bedazzle that they either got on sale or for some price they refuse to divulge, when I talk about new shoes, I normally mean one of two things: a) something under $12 from Target, b) awesome new running shoes whose price I do not care to divulge. Today, I'm gushing about the latter.

When I first heard about "barefoot running" I was torn between skepticism and excitement. For most of my life I have preferred to tramp around barefoot and if it was socially acceptable (and safe) I would probably never wear shoes again, but I had been so trained into believing that I needed tennis shoes to run that I wasn't immediately sold on the idea. I had played Ultimate Frisbee barefoot for a long time and love it, but that was on the grass, grass I knew to be at least somewhat safe. Then, I had two guys tell me that "the rumors were true", that ever since they began running either barefoot or in the Vibram Five Finger shoes they had been injury free. Finally, I decided to take the plunge myself.

I'd been having trouble with my left knee for a while, so much so that I'd given up on the idea of ever running anything more than a 10K, but when I began training in my Vibrams the knee pain slowly but surely went away. Where as I used to wake up in the middle of the night with an aching knee, now I could run without any of that horrible, pounding pressure under my knee cap. I wouldn't have believed it had I not tried it, but I'm totally sold on the shoes. They protect the bottoms of my feet and help me run more on the balls of my feet. I don't really care how ridiculous they look, if they will help me avoid pain, I'm sold. Anyone else tried these? Got another brand you prefer? I hear they also get rid of shin splints and pretty much change your running form entirely.

Early Post of the Week: Reflections on Singleness

2011-06-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

"Singleness is never carte blanche for selfishness. A spouse is not a sufficient countermeasure for self. The gospel is the only antidote for egocentricity. Christ did not come simply to save us from our sings, He came to save us from our selves. And He most often rescues us from us through relationships, all kings of relationships." Paige Benton

Unintentionally Funny Signs

2011-06-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

Get vaccinated against singles!

It's not so much that the sign is unintentionally funny as it is the fact that I misread it. On first look, more than once mind you, I read "Protect Against Singles". For about a nanosecond I was very offended. Haha! Anyone else misread a sign that made you laugh? And or get offended?

Hesitant Update

2011-06-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

^"13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil." James 4: 13-16

I always shy away from talking too much about my job search on Facebook and my blog mostly because it's been over a year since I've been looking for one. Add to that the verse above and the fact that if I find a job I will in many ways be abandoning the ministry I am currently volunteering at and I become all the more hesitant. Moreover, when you have been turned down for at least five jobs you start to grow a bit fearful, especially when it comes to ministry. I start to worry that maybe I misunderstood what God is calling me to do, that I'm being too picky, too specific, too bullheaded, not willing to try something different. I also struggle with the fear that the reason my last job ended was because of something I did wrong, that I stink at what I love to do. I've lost night's of sleep spent in worry (and in prayer) over all of these things, including the fear that I will disappoint someone no matter what I do.

And so I find myself hesitantly excited about my job interview tomorrow. I had all but given up my search for youth ministry positions when Richard Harris, the Young Adults Pastor at Christ EPC, found one that I had missed. A PCA church in Matthews, North Carolina, a place I'd never heard of, is hiring a full time Middle School Girls Youth Director ASAP. ASAP. As in July. Unlike the other times I've applied for various youth positions I applied for this one with very little hope. When I got an e-mail back with the application I struggled through the answers, feeling like I was hitting a wall, like I was brain dead, and I ended up sending it in feeling even more dismal than before.

But God never ceases to surprise me. Two weeks ago I get a call from the Youth Pastor and have a little mini interview, then yesterday he calls again to set up a Skype interview with the staff. I'm excited... but still hesitant. A church in Mississippi flew me down for an interview a few months ago only to turn me down later, and the prospect of such a large church is a little overwhelming, but I know that even if I don't get the job it's all part of God's good and sovereign plan. It's been painful. It's been exhausting. But God has shown me so much about Himself and I am learning to trust Him while I wait.

So please pray for me as I prepare to interview tomorrow. Pray that I would have wisdom, a clear mind, and that I would rejoice no matter the outcome.

Quote of the Week: C.S. Lewis

2011-06-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

"...poetry replaces grammar, gospel replaces law, longing transforms obedience, as gradually the tide lifts a grounded ship."

Battle with a Door Knob: Reflections on Clumsiness

2011-06-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

First black eye

Every since I was a little kid I've been a bit clumsy. Most of my childhood pictures have me sporting giant goose eggs on my head. I was much like Maggie from the Simpsons, falling face first into whatever was in front of me. For some reason I couldn't figure out that throwing my hands down to brace my fall would save me some brain cells one day. Even in high school, after years of dance I still had issues with falling. My dance team even gave me a fall limit per class period. Once in college I fell in front of an entire History class, getting myself trapped between two chairs that had been screwed to the floor. Not my most shining moment. But believe it or not with all this falling I have never broken anything (except a few toes) and I had never gotten a black eye... until now.

You would think this incident would start off with something like "Last week at roller derby..." but instead it begins in the bathroom. Yeah, seriously. Don't worry, this will not be a TMI post, I was actually just bending down to pick something up. It was when I straightened that it happened. I must have straightened up way too quickly because all of a sudden there were stars exploding in front of my eyes and ringing in my ears. With my hand to my head I literally felt the bump grow... very weird. I figured the worst I had to worry about was headaches, which I've had for a few days, and missing at least one day of Camp Gladiator (Patrick did not, in fact, let me work out the next day) but I didn't think I'd end up with a black eye. It's not painfully obvious, but the bruise that is still mostly on my forehead has moved down around my eye just in time for a wedding. The space between my eyes is also swollen, but the goose egg is pretty much gone. I would like to say "Yeah, I look bad but you should see the other guy..." but the door knob pretty much looks the same. Maybe next time I'll win.

So what's your story? Any epic bruises to tell about?

Burn Away the Dross: Birthday Reflection

2011-06-06T06:54:00.001-07:00

Grace, grace for all who love the Lord Jesus Christ, with an undying love,

Grace, grace to all who love the Lord Jesus Christ, with an undying love!

Give me an undying love for You,

Lord won't you set my heart aflame with passion for Your name.

Give me an undying love for You,

Lord won't you take me to the cross,

I count it all as loss,

please burn away the dross so that nothing else remains,

but an undying love.

"Remove the dross from the silver,   and out comes material for the silversmith."

Proverbs 25:4

Dross must be removed from silver in order to increase its purity, its value. In order to do so, the silver must be placed where the fire is the hottest so that all the impurities will be burnt away. No doubt if silver had nerve endings this would not be a pleasant experience. But what is also interesting is that the silversmith doing his work must sit holding the silver until it is done. He can’t simply leave it and go about his other business. If the silver is left too long in the flames it would be destroyed therefore he must keep his eyes on it the entire time. And how does he know when it is completely refined? When he can see his reflection in it.

Trials to us are like flames to silver, refining us, making us pure and holy. Yet amidst the flames we often forget that God is also like the silversmith, sitting with us, not a passive observer but an active refiner. Every second has purpose and He will not allow us to be destroyed. My prayer for this new year of my life (year 26) would be that I would remember my refiner while I am in the flames and that I would learn to praise Him in the most difficult situation.

Warning! Shameless Plug

2011-06-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I use my blog for shameless plugs. Here's one now. I heard about Camp Gladiator from a friend and after checking out their free preview week I had to sign up. It's a great work out for many reasons but I'd have to say the top three reasons are as follows:

The trainers are certified personal trainers who do care that you are doing things right (a.k.a. proper form) and can help you out with injuries (Patrick, the Katy trainer figured out where my injury was and I feel eons better now).
It's all about competition in a group setting which makes you push yourself
When you sign up you can go to any location you want to. Ex: Houston, Austin, Katy, Dallas.
When you sign up because I told you about it I get a discount (what? that's not the best reason?)
There's a spouse discount
We play games

There are many more reasons you should join, but these are just a few. Hope to see you out there!

Shameless plug ended.

Always Pray: Refection on Memorial Day

2011-05-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

No matter how we feel about wars past and present, no matter how we feel about the military, no matter our political persuasion, we should always pray for our soldiers and their families. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

"I Hate All Your Show": Reflections on Worship

2011-05-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

²¹"I hate, I despise your feasts,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.

²²Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,

I will not accept them;

and the peace offerings of your fattened animals,

I will not look upon them.

²³Take away from me the noise of your songs;

to the melody of your harps I will not listen.

²⁴But let justice roll down like waters,

and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

Amos 5:21-24

Often times when a particularly convicting passage of scripture is presented to us our first response as recovering sin addicts is to think of someone else. I find myself doing this all the time. "Yes," I muse to myself. "I know of someone who would benefit greatly from reading this passage. 'X' should be convicted by this truth." I then proceed to go on my own merry, self-righteous way feeling that God is very lucky to have me on His side.
The problem here, of course, is not necessarily that 'X' would not benefit from such convictions, but rather that I often allow myself to be blind to the fact that I am the one who needs to be convicted. Even if on the surface it seems I am innocent of a particular sin, if I look deeper, allow the Spirit to dig into my deepest motivations and thoughts, I will see with absolute certainty, that there is no sin I am not guilty of.
Take the passage above as an example. As a fairly conservative Christian of the Reformed Presbyterian persuasion (frozen chosen we are often, unfortunately called) I might be prone to look at other denominations, particularly the Pentecostals (Pente-crazy as my Pentecostal friend calls herself), and immediately prescribe this verse to them. I note the emotionalism of their worship, the effects used to create mood and tone (fog machines anyone), and label it a show rather than true worship. After all, I think, it is often the most emotional worshipers I would see the following Friday or Saturday night participating in extreme versions of partying like it's 1999 (Or May 21, 2011, wait...). I saw this occasionally in college and of course now as an adult I see it even more. Clearly these are the types of people Amos would have been talking about, those who put on a show at Church and then going about and living every day as if they had no relationship with their savior whatever. (On a side note, Pentecostals would not be the only denomination my self-righteous judgment would reach but for the sake of time and space I won't list them all.) The problem with this is not that others are not guilty of sin themselves, but rather that I am guilty as well.
Often I joke about being an unofficial politician. Not only am I good at convincing others of my own innocence and perfection, but I can even deceive myself into believing this lie. My version of this "show" as Jon Foreman calls it, is being a biblical, spiritual nerd. I know the Bible well, I pride myself on obedience to parents, and on the fact that I avoid 'R' rated movies, and that I don't go partying like those other "sinners" do (Trivia question: who do I sound like? Hint). But this is all deception. My outsides might look good but on the inside sin is embedded deep! On the hidden underbelly of my motivations are pride, a desire to be worshiped by others for my "good deeds", and a feeling of false superiority. Yet very often I can barely see it, I am blind because I've had great practice lying to myself and others for a good 25 years... I can't even save myself and must cry out with Paul "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24).
But his cry does not end there. He continues on with the hope I must cling to myself, that I have a great savior in Christ, who makes the blind see. "Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:25) Because of His sacrifice, I can see through to my own sin and be rid of my own show and fall to my knees before Him with the promise of a righteousness that is not my own and a justification I do not deserve.
May I continue to Hate All My Show, and overflow with justice and mercy.

Sometimes KSBJ Does Good...

2011-05-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sidewalk Prophets

You Love me Anyway

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly little lie

It didn't mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly

But the future's so far
My heart is so frail
I think I'd rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How you love me

It took all of my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find

The reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And Why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas' kiss
But You love me anyway
See now I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night I still call out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh God, how You love me
Yes You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me (x4)

How You love me (x3)

Missing Peru

2011-05-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Bought the dress and the necklace on the beach two years ago in Peru.
Picture idea totally stolen from my fellow blogger Roxy.

I Live Because He Lives: Reflection on the Resurrection

2011-04-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:24

Good Friday: Reflections on the Cross

2011-04-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

"The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father." John 10:17-18

"Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" John 18:11

"My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place." John 18:36

"I tell you the truth, today you will be with Me in paradise." Luke 23:43

"It is finished." John 19:30

By No Means the End: Reflections on Loss

2011-04-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...One we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass...And then you see it...White shores...and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise."

Sunday night our Sister in Christ, Melanie Sweenie, was relieved of her suffering and taken home to her savior. It's a hard thing for those of us who are left behind, harder still for her two young sons and her husband, but we can take comfort in knowing that her work was finished. Right now, she is getting to look upon the face of the savior with perfect vision and hear the words "well done good and faithful servant." This was no surprise to Him who knows the number of our days and in that I pray we can all find comfort in this time. God did not look down on Melanie, gasp, and think, "whoops, wasn't paying attention there", rather He was the one calling her home, drawing her into eternal rest. He is also the One who will comfort her family, and use this to grown and strengthen them as He uses their local church to gather around them.

While we mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15), we continue to rejoice that death, eternal death, has been concurred, and say along with Paul, "'O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 By the sacrifice of Christ Jesus, Melanie, along with all who believe on Him, is free from the penalty of sin and now she is completely free from its oppression (2 Corinthians 5:21). May we take hope in this, no matter the tragedies we experience in this life.

Pasta! More Reflections on Food.

2011-04-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

Drying pasta

I love food. And if you read my blog with any regularity you will know that this is quite the understatement. I also love to cook and one of my all time favorite people to cook with is the great Kandy Steen. When I was working at Christ EPC in Houston, the youth staff took a cooking class from her during the summer. She is a cooking ninja. We learned to make gourmet macaroni, spatzle, cheese cake, and pasta from scratch, just to name a few and every recipe I have tried on my own and shared with others has been a huge hit. Today, I got to help her cook all of the meals for this week because she hurt her hand and to be quite honest, I made out like a bandit. We cooked chicken and andouille sausage gumbo, a rotisserie chicken casserole with amazing white sauce, and home made pasta with Italian sausage ragou. And of course she let me take some home.

As pasta is pretty much my favorite food to cook on my list of things to request for my birthday or Christmas: a kitchen aide with a pasta attachment. YUM!

Now tell me: What's your favorite dish to cook?

A Plethora of Pictures

2011-03-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Some of the most delicious carrot cake from a cafe in Fulshear!

The sun through the trees

Marcelina helping us make dinner

Backyard flowers

Tree in our backyard. At one time we thought it would be a fun place for future kiddos to play, then we discovered there might be snakes.

Flowers

One flower

Gossip: Reflections on Murder

2011-03-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

"You shall not murder." Exodus 20:13

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment...But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Matthew 5:21-22

This last Sunday I lead the youth in a discussion about the sixth commandment, 'You shall not murder.' It seems simple enough in theory. Most people look at such a command and think, 'I'm doing pretty good, haven't killed anyone recently', and most of the time when confronted with news stories about brutal murders or the issue of abortion, my sense of righteous anger and justice are excited. How could anyone do x, y, z? I wonder. It's so inhuman!

But then, I'm confronted with the words of Christ in Matthew. He doesn't let me off the hook. In fact, He digs deeper into the heart and reveals to me just how wickedly sinful I am. He says that if I am angry with someone, if I call them a name, then I am a murderer in the eyes of God. Wow! Hold the phone! A murderer? Sweet and innocent Courtney? (For the record, if you're thinking this you clearly don't know me as well as you think you do.) The answer to this question of course is a resounding yes.

The fact is, at the heart of my anger and my name calling is a heart that is not valuing human life! And is that not what murder is? Devaluing life? Talk about convicting.

One of the pastor's wives furthered my conviction when she mentioned gossip as a topic heavily addressed in the bible. I didn't realize this right away, but later on that day I considered the fact that gossip, like hate, is just one more way of devaluating human life! Gossip has, at its heart, the same sinful attitude as murder. We cannot escape it. It puts us first, others second, and maybe God third. It say, "I am infinitely superior to everyone around me, and I place value on what I will place value." This leaves absolutely no room for us to think well of ourselves, and that's the point! That was Jesus' point. He did not come to the world to raise our self-esteem, He came to the world to give us a new nature, to satisfy the wrath that we deserved, and to grant us a right relationship with God.

It is this kind of grace that knocks the wind out of me and leaves me speechless. I pray it does you too.

In Tragedy

2011-03-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

Amidst tragedy we have a great and good God. Amidst tragedy we have hope. Amidst tragedy we can come together as the body of Christ and show the world what it means to be one in Spirit and in truth. Amidst tragedy the kingdom of God is advanced. Amidst tragedy we cling less to the things of this world and more to its creator. Amidst tragedy God is glorified through His people.

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php

Cowtown Run Photos

2011-03-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

These must have been taken near the end of the race because I look pretty wiped, but I'm glad to have some pictures of me running now!

Cant? Or Won't?

2011-03-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

Driving home tonight, completely beat and rather wobbily, I could only think of how nice it would be to live less than twenty minutes from Katy. Fulshear really isn't in the middle of nowhere, but often times a twenty minute drive feels that way, especially when you are exhausted. Most of this, admittedly, is my own fault but that realization never improves my attitude and in fact, it typically makes it worse. This of course, was my emotional state when I got behind a five belower. Never heard of one of those? It's a person who insists on driving five below the speed limit when there is no traffic in sight and nothing between them and the open road but some obvious rancor towards you, the exhausted person behind them (you see the problem with my attitude emerging already -- clearly I am the center of the universe and everyone's minds... insert eye roll here___). So I get stuck behind this five belower on a one way road with little opportunity to pass them when a thought enters my mind in the form of a "prayer". It goes something like "Lord, please speed them up, I can't handle this."

Really? Can't handle it? Now in a way, there is some theological truth to this statement. Left to myself, with no outside help, I can't choose to put up with a horrific (read minor) annoyance, and am a slave to my tired emotions. But this, of course, is not the case. As a child of God trusting in the finished work of Christ on my behalf (and on behalf of all those He loves) I am not left to myself. I have a power established inside of me that enables me to do that which my sinful nature would never choose to do! Therefore, when I decide to react badly, sinfully to a certain situation, it isn't that I couldn't act in the right way, it's that I wouldn't. I need to do what Paul encourages in Philippians 1:12-14 and to "work out [my] own salvation in fear and trembling, for it is God who works in [us], both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

It's an odd tension, knowing both that God is the One willing us to do good and that it is our responsibility to work, but it is there very clearly in scripture. Maybe it is a little like eating good food. The nutrients strengthen you to do the work, but if you don't actually get up and run you will never accomplish your goal. All analogies break down at a point but you understand my meaning. Pray for the strength to obey, then go an do it whether you understand it or not.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and how inscrutable His ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor? Or who has given a gift to Him that He might be repaid?' For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen." Romans 11:33-36

Cowtown Run

2011-02-27T16:25:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I headed out to Fort Worth for my first 10K. Around 5:30 in the morning I was up and eating a Cliff bar with little hope of running it in under an hour. For those of you who do not know, a 10K is six miles and as I normal run fairly slow (maybe a 12 minute mile or so) I figured it might take me an hour and a half. Granted, in a race I always run much faster, but I still was not hopeful. This did not depress me of course as I was more than happy to get an 'E' for effort and maybe even enthusiasm, and so I went into the race planning on doing my best and just being glad to finish. By the grace of God I finished in 56 minutes and 2 seconds, just two minutes behind a friend of mine who was running. It was very encouraging and just what I needed to revive my slowly waning running routine.

What was cool was the amount of people of the city who came out to cheer the runners on and it reminded me of a very important Christian truth. One of the reasons why we gather together as Christians, aside from the obvious joy of worshiping together, is so that we can, or at least should, encourage one another. Every time I began to feel as if I could not run much longer, we would pass crowds of cheering people, telling us that we could do it, that there was only a little more to go, and even providing gatorade and water to give us strength. It reminded me that this is what I should be doing for my brothers and sisters in Christ, cheering them on as they press on toward the goal to which God has called them heavenward (Phil 3:14). So I encourage you to encourage others, because we are not in this race alone!

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

A Night Around the Fire

2011-02-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

In the nicer weather we've been having lately, my family has been sitting around our outdoor fireplace to read. The sky was really clear the last time we did this and I practiced a little night photography. Clearly I need to work on it or learn the secrets of the trade or something, but I still think they look pretty cool.

You could see the moon through the trees, but you can't see them in the photos. I'm sure there is some technical way to do it and I'm going to work on figuring it out, but for now I still think it looks pretty neat.

You can kind of see the trees here, but it still doesn't look as cool as it actually was.

A test picture that I thought actually looked interesting.

I love the sunsets out in Fulshear lately, so beautiful.

Food Art

2011-02-23T19:00:00.001-08:00

I have never been very visually artistic myself, but I love art in all its forms. Today I went to one of my favorite sushi places and was presented with the coolest shashimi I've personally ever seen. Even the carrots are flowers! They also have the best ginger dressing I've ever tasted, it's even good on the sushi. Shameless plug: Sushi Hana is fabulous.

God Washes Human's Feet: Reflections on Divine Humility

2011-02-22T04:05:00.000-08:00

⁵Then he [Jesus] poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him..."Do you understand what I have done to you? ¹³ You call meTeacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. ¹⁴If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet."

John 13:5 and 12-14

It was because He was assured of his divinity that Christ did not demand His rights and that He was able to wash the dirty, stinky feet of his disciples, including Judas His betrayer. How much more should we, then, wash the feet of those around us? We are assured in scripture of our place as co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17), therefore, let us not demand our rights as such, but consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

Valentine Sunsets

2011-02-14T16:14:00.000-08:00

Through the trees in Fulshear

By the garage, still in Fulshear

After dropping off Amy Simon.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

"A new commandment I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34

Reflections on Valentines

2011-02-13T17:08:00.000-08:00

⁶For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— ⁸but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. ¹⁰For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. ¹¹More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

I am ashamed to admit that around Valentine's Day I get rather grumpy and bitter. It is a sin that I need to confess and flee from, but a habit that tends to be difficult for me to break. It's a sin because I am grumpy and bitter because I desire to be married and yet it hasn't happened yet. It is a sin because I know that I am loved more deeply than I deserve by the God of the Universe and that He showed me this love by suffering the penalty I incurred with my rebellion against Him. Romans 5 says that scarcely will someone die for a righteous or a good man, yet the Lord Jesus suffered and died for me, the worst of sinners. So going against tradition, I'm making a Valentines resolution. With the help of the Holy Spirit I am going to take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to the Lord (2 Corinthians 10:5) by reminding myself constantly of all He has done for me and in turn show love to the unloved as best I can. So to all my readers, the few and far between, I wish you a Happy Valentines Day. May you be made deeply aware of the love God has for you.

Verse of the Week

2011-02-11T20:03:00.001-08:00

"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love." Lamentations 3:32

God is faithful, good, and sovereign even when things appear black. His plans are not simply good for us, but the best for us. While we all hold responsibility for our actions, He works all things for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Like Joseph and his brothers and Christ on the cross, great sin can be used for great good by our omnipotent creator. I am thankful that though I am undeserving, He is merciful and gracious enough to love me and work all things for good. Pray that I will have peace and joy during this desert storm.

Sub Days

2011-02-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

I am extremely pampered. I have had two sub days this week and they went wonderfully despite my massive anxiety about both. On the first day there was a student teacher who already knew classroom procedures and was a huge help. On the second day, today, there was a tutor working with the class who also was a wonderful help. Needless to say, my expectations were so wrong. The kids were all very sweet (if not a little chatty) and the first teacher mentioned having me back next week. What a huge blessing!

I realize that not all of my jobs will be like this. Surely there will be classes that I will want to strangle and bury under the basketball court, but thus far I am extremely thankful for the well behaved classes I've had, and pray that I'll be thankful for the classes of another kind. Tomorrow and Friday I am subbing for a band class. Thus far I've assumed that there won't be much teaching and that things will be fairly easy, but I'm trying to lower my expectations to avoid disappointment. Thanks to every one for their prayers, I continue to covet them.

As for my teaching certificate, I have three content exams coming up and I ask for prayer for those as well. Thankfully, God is both good and sovereign and I will end up where He wants me to be, which will always be the best place.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Happy Feet

2011-02-04T19:06:00.001-08:00

For the record, I've never been a frequent nail painter, but on occasion (mostly when I have some sort of gift card) I enjoy getting a pedicure. Last week I went with a friend and her mom and I just have to say, I never thought nail polish would make me this happy. It sort of makes me wish for summer so I could wear flip flops... might just have to find this color and use it again!

Help My Unbelief

2011-02-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

"17But they continued to sin against Him, rebelling in the desert against the Most High. 18They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. 19They spoke against God, saying 'Can God spread a table in the desert? 20When He struck the rock, water gushed out, and streams flowed abundantly. But can He also give us food? Can He supply meat for His people?'" Psalm 78:17-20

For the last year or so I feel as if I've been living in sort of a desert period. God saw fit to take away a wonderful job and send me to live under my parents roof once more. Since that time I've searched for a job in youth ministry but was unable to find one. On top of that, the population of the church I volunteer for consists of married couples and youth. I have felt extremely lonely and have often despaired of finding a friend my age or ever finding a husband. Eventually, I decided to pursue teaching and I pray that this will not only open up job opportunities but also a new field of ministry. Yet anxiety grips me constantly. It was so bad one night last week that I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I've had since college. Worry about exams, substitute teaching, money, ever finding a permanent job, marriage, etc, etc, consumed me so that I was physically affected. It was the first time such an attack had happened so abruptly and violently. By God's grace I was able to calm down and get some sleep, but those thoughts continue to haunt me.

But as I was reading Psalms this morning, this passage all but shouted at me from the page. Each phase of Israel's unfaithful complaining reminded me of something in my own life. As Israel had despaired of finding water in the desert, I despaired of finding a good friend. Yet, just as God brought His beloved people water from a rock, He brought me a friend in one of the young married women of the church. And though I fear the day when she and her husband might leave to join the military, she is an example of God's mercy and faithfulness to me. So rather than say like Israel, "Well, you brought me a friend but I don't trust you to help me find a job or a husband in suburbia where everyone is already married" (verses 19-20) I should be reminding myself that He is not only good but sovereign, that if He was gracious enough to provide a friend for me He can provide all these other things that I need... and that His plans are what's best for me (Romans 8:28).

I guess the hard thing is realizing that what I want may not be God's best for me. That is way my new prayer is for God to help my unbelief. I know that He is good and can do all things, but I need help to believe just like the father of the sick boy (Mark 9:24). And that's one thing I am certain He will give me.

Template

2011-02-03T19:16:00.001-08:00

Can someone help me with my template? I'm attempting to change it and now it doesn't look like I want it to. I know very little about html so any help would be appreciated.

Mad Skill

2011-02-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that my mom has mad skills? She made me a pretty apron for Christmas that sort of reminds me of I guess 1960's housewife. All I need are some pearls and a vacuum. Tonight I'm staying warm by making quiche lorraine and wearing my second favorite Christmas present (next to the scarf and bought me... oh and the camera my dad got me, which still needs a memory card). I need to learn how to sew the way she does, it's very impressive.

Guest Photographer

2011-02-01T06:32:00.000-08:00

A little known fact is that my dad is an excellent photographer. Here are some lovely pictures of the sky he took for me recently. I believe they are all from Fulshear but I may ask him to bring us some pictures from Algeria when he heads back next month. Thanks Dad!

"This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations; I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh." Genesis 9:12-15

*As always, thanks to Kiki for the idea. Now go visit her blog.

A Sensitive Subject: Reflections on Abortion

2011-01-30T18:40:00.001-08:00

I've done posts about this subject before, and want to start off by saying that I approach this subject humbly and with the realization that, like Paul, I am "the worst of sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15-16). The best way to solve this particular problem, I believe, is most likely prayer and assisting and counseling women individually, but the point that Randy Alcorn makes in my humble opinion, is difficult to argue. Thanks to John Ferguson for posting this on his blog:

I’ll never forget years ago when a pro-life candidate ran television ads showing aborted babies, and people were outraged. A CBS Evening News reporter declared the abortion debate had reached a “new low in tastelessness.” Strangely, there was no outrage that babies were being killed... only that someone had the audacity to show they were being killed.

The question we should ask is not “Why are pro-life people showing these pictures?” but “Why would anyone defend what’s shown in these pictures?” The real concern about pictures of unborn babies isn’t that they’re gory, but that they prove the accuracy of the pro-life position.

The Holocaust was so evil that words alone couldn’t describe it. Descriptions of Nazi death camps had long been published in American newspapers, but when these papers started printing the pictures of slaughtered people, the American public finally woke up. If not for the pictures, even today most of us wouldn’t understand or believe the Holocaust.

I visited a college campus where a pro-life group had set up displays of aborted babies alongside the victims of the Nazi death camps, the killing fields, American slavery, and other historical atrocities. Signs with warnings about the graphic photographs were posted clearly, so all those who looked did so by choice. I witnessed the profound effect on students and faculty, including those who didn’t want to believe what they were seeing.

Animal rights advocates argue that in order to make their case they must show terrible photographs, such as baby seals being clubbed to death. If there’s a place to look at such pictures, isn’t there a place to look at pictures of abortions? And if abortion isn’t killing babies... then why are these pictures so disturbing?

Was the solution to the Holocaust to ban the disgusting pictures? Or was the solution to end the killing?

Is the solution to abortion getting rid of pictures of dead babies? Or is it getting rid of what’s making the babies dead?

Forgive the Girl Moment

2011-01-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

I've never liked the idea of a strapless wedding dress, but I love this one. Soft, sophisticated (thanks mom!) and maybe not the exact color I would want, but the long lines are extremely flattering, the bow is romantic, and it's not traditional.

Girl moment over.

P.S.

2011-01-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that I started doing Roller Derby? I swear, better than therapy.

Skies from Fulshear

2011-01-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

This morning, 7:45... or so.

So, this is supposed to be for Friday, but the pictures were too pretty to wait. I need to go get a memory card for the camera a got for christmas, so for the moment I'm using my camera (hence the not so good quality) but phone camera pictures will have to do for now. What struck me so today as I was driving was the beautiful scene spread before me. I was overwhelmed by God's artistry, by the fact that He not only orders the universe to work as magnificently as it does, but that He makes it breathtaking, beautiful.

This evening around 6PM

"For since the creation of the world god's invisible qualities - His eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

Monday Pants!

2011-01-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

This is probably a silly post, but the idea amused me, so here it is. Monday is my current day off, the day I don't care so much what I wear and thus, the "Monday pants" were born. Oh they didn't start off that way. At one time they looked fairly presentable, but after years of walking around in (and on) them, they developed many holes and frays. They are the most comfortable jeans I own and I wish I could wear them every day. Alas, this world judges us by what we wear... especially potential employers, therefore, I reserve them for hanging around the house and cooking Tilapia in lemon and caper sauce. I know you're jealous.

More on Living in Fulshear

2011-01-24T10:39:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, not only do we live in the boonies, but said boonies are low lands. Ever since moving out here my parents have been in an epic battle with the sump pump to try and drain the rain water from our yard. Imagine the scene in Christmas Story where Ralphie's father fights with the furnace... only without all the language and no ugly broken leg lamp. Thus far the score remains sump pump: 2, parents: 0.

This is a picture of our yard this morning after a night of rain. I'm waiting to see the squirrels floating around in little ships reminiscent of Noah's ark with mocking birds, skunks, and snakes lining up two by two. Or maybe even a few of the snails my Jr. High girls harassed the last time they were at my house. Either way, I have thankful for the rain. If anything, it always inspires me to write. More to come on living in the country.

Fulshear Sky

2011-01-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

Week two of linking up to Kiki's blog. I took this through my car window (See the little black spot in the corner? Compliments to a pebble I believe) this morning. I love this idea of getting skies from all over. Last week mine was a College Station sky and this week it's from Fulshear. Enjoy!

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands." Psalm 19:1

Who Was Your Favorite Teacher?

2011-01-21T13:53:00.000-08:00

Around November 2011, after months of prayer and quite a bit of foolish worry, I made the decision to pursue my alternative certification in teaching. I had been encouraged to do so in the past, but I wanted to make sure that I was doing it for the right reasons. With the realization that God could impact our schools through me, that this could be another form of youth ministry and not just a tent making job, I began training with Texas Teachers. I've gone back and forth between excitement and nervousness, but typically the positive outweighs the negative. My prayers are that:

If this is where God wants me, that I would find a job for August
That God would use me when I do find that job
That I would be able to continue my work at Cornerstone church

I will start substitute teaching here pretty soon to help pay for school and start saving money for an apartment (and to make myself known in the school district) and so I pray that will go well too. I've heard subbing is fairly hard as most students don't tend to treat subs all that well. Please cover me in your prayers. But as I approach this task and the actual task of teaching my own class, I have two questions to ask my readers (all two, haha). It might inform me to be a better teacher and it might just be a good laugh. But here it is:

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?
(For the mother's out there) What would you expect/appreciate from the teacher of your children?

My favorite teacher in grade school was probably a toss up between my senior English teacher, who not only had mercy on my after getting my wisdom teeth out but bought me crackers and sprite during our final because I had a stomach bug and was also a constant beacon as a Christian in our school, and my Junior Spanish teacher who spent countless mornings trying to teach me the proper use of reflexive verbs and didn't take crap from anybody but always made Spanish very entertaining.

In College I LOVED my British History professor, who also had mercy on me amidst a bad stomach bug (I tend to get those a lot for some reason... ) that occurred right before our first exam, and knew soo much about his subject to make it often sound like a soap opera. All of these teachers and professors made their subjects come alive, had good control of their classes, and had mercy when they knew particular students were in desperate need of it. I want to be like that as a teacher, but more than that I want to be a lamp on a stand, to parents, students, teachers, and staff. Pray for me! And pray for all our teachers! They need it!

Hope in the Lord

2011-01-17T12:31:00.001-08:00

How do you deal when tragedy comes? The second that horrific news comes all other smaller problems that have been surrounding you seem to shrink in their significance, and suddenly each joy is tinged with the slightest hesitation. You wonder how this could happen, you feel guilty for any moment of happiness, you may even attempt to ignore it entirely, as per the stages of dealing with loss. But eventually you have to face it, and when that happens, what do you do?

The beginning of 2011 has been darkened by such tragedies, both personal and national. Unless you've been living under a rock you know about the shooting in Tucson, the violence spawned by a disturbed and hysterical mind, but I doubt all of you have heard about the illness of my dear friend Lynn Oliphant. I met Lynn when I was probably eleven years old. My family had just moved to Katy and were looking around for a local church to attend. At the time, Lynn was the wife of the Pastor at Cornerstone, Buck Oliphant, and the moment we walked in the doors it was like coming home.

My memories of both Lynn and Buck, who now work at a church in Houston, were always filled with joy and laughter, and to this day she is the one who comes to mind when I think about what it means to be a woman who fears the Lord. Her quiet and gentle spirit has always been inspiring to me, and one of my constant prayers is that I would grow to be much like her in personality and purpose.

Last week, we were told that she has advanced bone cancer. I could hardly believe it when I read the e-mail and I found myself rebelling against the idea. There had to be a mistake, she couldn't have cancer. I'm not sure it has really hit me yet, I may still be in a bit of shock, but just to see how she and her husband have both been reacting to it has been one of the most encouraging things. I pray that God will continue to give them joy and lift their spirits, and that even if He does not heal her by medicine or by miracle, that He would redeem this entire situation.

We may never get answers on this side of heaven. We may simply be left to simply trust that God is both good and sovereign in the joyful and sorrowful things. Keep the entire Oliphant family in your prayers.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:30-31

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

First Post of the New Year

2011-01-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

Over at I Still Hate Pickles my friend Kiki is doing 365 days of Texas skies. (Pause for shameless plug)Kiki is an excellent writer and always has wonderful and hilarious pictures of her children and family so I highly suggest blog stalking her. Last Friday, just before I headed out to College Station for my friend's wedding, Kiki sent out a message to have us put up sky pictures on our blogs and link back to hers. My picture is not from Fulshear, where I live, but rather from College Station. The quality is not great because it was taken from my phone, but it was beautiful and reveals the last bit of sun we had before it proceeded to rain most of the weekend. Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Pie in the Sky: Reflections on deliciousness

2010-11-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

This morning I used my second crust for a Quiche Lorraine. It was fabulous and I've had to exercise an extreme amount of self-control not to eat the whole thing by myself. It's a fabulous recipe and as promised, here it is.

Ingredients:

Pastry for 9-inch pie

8 slices of bacon, chopped

4 green onions + spinach

2 cups (8 ounces) shredded Gruyere or Swiss cheese,

divided

6 large eggs, beaten

1 cup whipping cream

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Dash of red pepper

Dash of ground white pepper

Ground nutmeg

Instructions:

Fit piecrust into a 9-inch quiche dish; trim excess pastry around the edges. Prick bottom and sides of pie crust with a fork. Bake at 400 degrees for 3 minutes; remove from oven, and gently prick with a fork. Bake pie crust for 5 more minutes.
Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until browned; add chopped green onions and spinach and cook one more minute. Drain well, and sprinkle evenly in pastry shell. Top with 1 cup cheese, set aside.
Combine eggs, whipping cream, salt, nutmeg, red pepper, and white pepper. Pour mixture into prepared crust and top with remaining cup of cheese. Sprinkle quiche lightly with additional nutmeg.
Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes or until set. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

Shakespeare said it best: A Reflection on Love

2010-11-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

Shakespeare, Sonnet CXVI

What true and beautiful words. I've been in romantic love, I think, three times and none of them have ever come to fruition. But one thing I know for certain, that after the initial sparks of fireworks and light and pounding hearts caused mostly by endorphins, a different sort of love must take over if the relationship is to be long lasting, 'til death do you part. This sort of love is not the all consuming flame, but the burning, constant embers. It is a decision, a choice that says, "I am tied to you and you to me, no matter the consequences." To give up and give in when passion has cooled is a sad, sad thing indeed, but to persevere through toil and turmoil from without and within is unconditional, divine. It's a love we tend to share more with our friends and family than with those we have made lifetime commitments to, though we should have it amidst that circumstance as well. It is agape love, the kind of love God alone is perfect at. "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:7-8. This kind of love is completely dependent on a decision, rather than emotion. If God can love us in this way, while we were still scoffing and spitting at Him, how much more should we love others. I realize I may be off point a little here, starting with the love a man and woman share in marriage, but I think that in the end it is God's agape love that makes it possible for marriage to last. It is His love for the couple, their love for Him, and their agape love for each other. The sparks of romantic love might fade away, but true and lasting love, agape love, stands forever.

Pie in the Sky: Reflections on the Power of Food

2010-11-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things to do in the world is cook. When I worked at a church in Houston, our staff took a cooking class with our very own local foodie and the bonding time was incredible. I have so many great recipes and stories from our time together... and maybe a few extra pounds. The point is, cooking brings people together. It's history, relationship, learning, making mistakes, and of course creativity and delicious food. Yesterday, having heard for a long time that a good family friend made the best pies ever, I went to learn her ways. And here are the results.

Working on her own apple pie after helping me with mine.

Cutting around the edge of the pan.

My left over dough that will be made (hopefully) into a quiche.

The finished product!

S.W.I.N.O.'s

2010-10-31T13:50:00.000-07:00

You've heard of R.I.N.O.s, Republicans In Name Only, well, here I'm going to talk about S.W.I.N.O.s, Star Wars In Name Only. For the past few days my dad and I have been watching some of the original Star Wars series, starting with Empire Strikes Back and ending with Return of the Jedi, and, as usual, this sparked much discussion about episodes 1, 2, and 3 (Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith). In my opinion, the best thing to come out of these movies, aside from some cool fight sequences and CGI, was the scathing reviews and a whole slew of jokes surrounding bad dialogue and inconsistencies. These movies are what my family refer to as S.W.I.N.O.s. The main problem with these movies was that George Lucas directed them. True, he directed the original Star Wars, but afterwards gave that role to Irvin Kershner and later Richard Marquand. How can I blame Lucas? Well, consider the fact that both Ewan McGreggor and Liam Neeson are wonderful actors, then watch them as Obi Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn (Yeah, bet you didn't realize that was Liam Neeson's name in the movie. I had to look it up). Both are fairly stiff and lame. Don't even get me started on Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen. Painful at best.

But as I was saying, one of the best parts about the movies were the scathing reviews and jokes that developed after each movie premiered. I wish that I still had some of the articles that I read during that time, but suffice it to say I've never laughed so much in my life. What I can share is one of the jokes my family shares in regards to this movie. My personal favorite is a particular phrase that is repeated often in our house hold. After explaining to young Anakan Skywalker about midi-chlorians, we discussed how a normal child would have reacted to this idea. In my mind, I always saw a terrified expression crossing his face as he sprinted back into the house yelling, "Mom, this guys says I got bugs in my blood!" Seriously, what kid would think it was cool to be told that there were critters inside of him that connected him to some strange force. Think about it. Maybe it sounds much more entertaining in person (after all, intonation is rather difficult to get across in writing) but you get the idea.

I hate to be cynical, after all, the original movies are so fun, and I know that if you're looking for logic in sci-fi you're probably barking up the wrong tree, but they are just so fun to poke fun at. So what did you think of episodes 1, 2, and 3? Good? Bad? Ugly? Any funny stories? I'd love to hear them!

Friday Laughs

2010-10-29T11:42:00.001-07:00

For the record, I believe this would probably be a great waste of resources and not particularly nice, but the picture still made me laugh. Please, no one take offense. =P

Foundations

2010-10-28T20:54:00.001-07:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,^[72] that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from theconsent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absoluteDespotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

Remember to vote!

Reflection on Suffering: Elisabeth Elliot Rocks my Socks Off

2010-10-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

"Nothing can reach us, from any source in earth or hell, no matter how evil, which God cannot turn to His own redemptive purpose. Let us be glad that the way is not a game of chance, a mere roll of dice which determines our fortune or calamity-it is a way appointed, and it is appointed for God's eternal glory and our final good."

How good is it to know that the Lord is sovereign, that the suffering we face is not random and pointless, but part of a good God's plan. I could not worship a god who was not responsible for the pain I often face, a god who looks down and weeps because he wanted to stop the hurt in my life but can't. That is a weak and powerless god, one that I would even call pathetic, and he would deserve no one's praise. The God of the bible is both omnipotent and good, therefore we know that there is method behind what seems to be the madness of this world. Our job, then, is to seek His guidance through our own trouble, and to be there for our friends in the midst of theirs. "Mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15) which generally means simply being silent and listening (not to respond as Job's friends, who spent more of their time accusing him of sin than they did listening to his frustrated questions). The last thing we should do is to try and "defend" God by saying that He did not want a certain trial to happen. This robs Him of His power and leaves us suffering pointlessly. Rather, praise God that He has a plan though we may not see it now, and run to Him when everything seems to be falling apart.

A Funny Post: Living in "the Country"

2010-10-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

There are many perks of living in "the country" (a.k.a. Fulshear). It's pretty quiet, there's not a whole lot of traffic, you can see the stars with a startling clarity at night, and it's absolutely beautiful. But sometimes, every so often, nature gets just a little bit too close. Like last night. I can't say that my perspective is the best, after all this story is really second hand, but I think you will appreciate it none the less.

Considering the wonderfully cool weather we have been experiencing in the Houston area for the past week or so, my parents have been leaving their windows open at night to let in the breeze. Great idea, right? Well... around one in the morning I awoke to the faint smell of... skunk. I was still partially asleep and could not decide whether or not I was dreaming so I decided to roll over and ignore it. Little did I know, things were not quiet as simple as that for my parents down stairs. This morning when I got up I went to eat breakfast with my mom in her room and noticed it was much cooler than the rest of the house. With a smile she informed me that they'd left the windows open again last night, but that things had not ended well. Apparently, that faint smell of skunk that slipped up stairs came from their room. Sometime in the middle of the night, around one I expect, my parents had been shocked from sleep by a skunk attack so bad that they had to shut the windows and fumigate. Ok, maybe not, but it was bad. Neither of my parents got much sleep after that.

Now I don't know if this kind of attack was initiated by a single disgruntled skunk, or a band of terrorist skunks, but either way I seriously doubt there will be many more nights of open windows for my parents. Unfortunately, while closed windows will guard against such stink bombs, I highly doubt it will save my mother from the chorus of frogs that have been keeping her up these past few months.

Dear nature, please allow my parents a good night sleep tonight, and register all complaints with my department of animal/human relations.

signed,

Courtney Lott

How He Loves Us: Reflections on Suffering

2010-10-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

David Crowder does a version of this song, but today I was informed that John Mark Mcmillan is the original writer. I looked up the lyrics and listened to his original recording and it completely changed the meaning of the song to me. This song is a declaration of God's goodness and love amidst the trial of losing a loved one. I am in tears as I write this and I think it is because of how much I need to be reminded that trials and suffering do not happen because God is apathetic towards our cause, but rather because of His great love for us. Like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17), so the trials we face sharpen us to be better tools for the kingdom. In a society where we are addicted to comfort, we all need to be reminded that it is actually good for us to suffer. As Downhere says in their song 'Last Amen,' "Somewhere in the grand design, it's good to be unsatisfied, it keeps the faith and hope a little more alive."

How He Love Us

Verse 1

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

Chorus 3:
Cause He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

The Winds of Change

2010-09-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

I love the change of seasons. Now before you crack a joke about how Texas doesn't actually have seasons, realize that to me, a girl who has lived in Texas most of her life, even the slightest drop in temperature is quite an event. There is something comforting and exciting about new weather, especially the sort of weather that anticipates the best holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's that warm fuzzy feeling, the rush of excitement that comes in knowing that good food, friends, and family are soon to come. I even rather like Halloween when I can avoid the more demonic points of the candy filled celebration, and love learning the history of the reformation. But there is a kind of change that I tend to rebel against, change I did not ask for, change that rips me from my comfortable little spot rather than warming my insides. This sort of change, while unpleasant, is most likely far better for me that the more enjoyable kind, though I despise to admit it. This sort of change tests my faith in God. It asks me if all of my talk about knowing that He is both good and sovereign is really my core belief or just a lot of head knowledge. It is so easy for me to explain to my students that the God of the universe is wise, that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) when I am happy and comfortable, but the true test comes when I lose security like a job, find myself feeling a little lost and directionless. These are the times where God asks me to live out my own words, to die to myself. So though I may feel that this uncomfortable change is some form of torture, and that I am a victim, what I know is that it is because God has the best plan for me that I might be stretched. "O Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promises these good things to your servant." 2 Samuel 7:28 God has promised His children good things. This does not necessarily mean financial wealth, health, and happiness. In fact, it means something much better than all of that, a life that will be shaped by the good God of the Universe. And when the shadows of this life have been lifted, we will see His great plan woven like a tapestry before us, the whole picture quite clear, and we will rejoice together as the body of Christ, made beautiful by Him and for Him.

Sister Site!

2010-09-16T14:06:00.000-07:00

In hopes of actually pursuing private dance instruction and a means of income, I built a website! It's not very pretty right now, but then I'm not much of a web designer, but it does have a really cool application where you can book appointments online. Yes, I am quite easily amused. Check it out! I am working on getting pictures and more info up but for now, here it is!

http://CourtneysPrivateBallet.yolasite.com/

Belated: Reflections on September 11

2010-09-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

^{¹ There is a time for everything,}

and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Our prayers should remain with those who lost and our eyes should remain on the One in whom we put our trust. Whatever we do, we should not forget.

Comments

2010-09-11T13:58:00.001-07:00

I want to take this time to thank everyone for their encouraging comments. However, there is one thing I would like to request: please write them in English or Spanish if you can, otherwise I don't know what you're saying! Again, thanks for reading!

Courtney out

More on Ballet Instruction

2010-09-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

For anyone interested, I am prayerfully considering getting certified to teach dance. At the moment I'm not entirely sure of the best place to get said certification, but I know it will at the very least give those paying me to teach their kids peace of mind. If anyone has any advice I definitely welcome it, and I always appreciate prayer. It's not something I ever thought I do but after teaching my first class on Wednesday morning I fell in love with it! Feel free to leave comments or shoot me an e-mail if you're interested!

Three Posts in One Day? Now That's Excessive...

2010-09-07T15:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's been a little ridiculous today with my ridiculous amount of posting, but I keep thinking of things to write. Heck, I don't even know if anyone is reading today! But it seems that the rain, as usual, has sparked my creative juices. This particular post isn't exactly creative, it's more asking for advice/advertising...sort of. As I think most of my readers know, I lost my paying job about a month ago and have since been volunteering for my church in Katy. As much as I love what I'm doing the lack of income has forced me to move back in with my parents and watch my money like a hawk whilst looking for a paying job. My heart is torn as I want to do the work here, but know that survival requires money, at least this side of heaven. One thing I've thought about more than once is the idea of tent making. Yes, I want to make tents to support myself. (Pause for effect) What? You don't believe me? Ok, so I don't actually want to build tents, but the idea comes from Paul. You know, the dude blinded in the road by his experience with Christ? Anyway, one of the way Paul supported his ministry, aside from the support he got from the church, was to make tents (Acts 18:1-3). The problem I have is my oh so marketable degree in Creative Writing. Yes, I would love to write a book and get published, but let's face it, that's not something I can bank on at the moment. However, because of this degree I have a very good eye for editing and so here is my semi-advertisement: if you need something edited send it my way. I have no idea what I should charge for this service and might just resolve to say 'donations appreciated' but perhaps in future I'll have a price. My second form of tent making came as a bit of a surprise. One of the moms at the church was taking her kids out of their ballet company and wanted me to teach them. So over 17 years of dance has paid off! I'll need to study up as it's been a while since I learned the terms, but that will keep me busy, and idle hands are never good. In the meantime, I'll probably be looking for other ways of supporting myself and I am always looking for suggestions! So tell your friends and neighbors that if they'd like to support a poor youth worker and they need someone to edit their writing, the writing of their children/dog/cat whatever to send it to lott.courtneyinator@gmail.com. Donations greatly appreciated. :-D

The Burning of the Quran: Reflections on Matthew 5 and Romans 5:8

2010-09-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

I don't claim to know the true intentions of this church and I don't claim to never act foolishly myself, but the folly of this action makes me very, very sad. If our purpose is to advance the kingdom of God then we would be wise to show love to the world around us and not stir up pointless trouble. The truth is offensive enough in itself without our help.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:43-48

We have to earn the right to be heard, and this is really not doing the trick. In all things we have to remember that "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

1 Corinthians 8:9 and Acts 16:3: Reflections on Freedom

2010-09-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

"Paul wanted to take [Timothy] along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in the area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek." Acts 16:3

For the past month or so, I have been doing a study of Acts. This was very exciting for me because I am trying to read all the way through the bible and finally finished going through all the gospels. Acts is such a neat book because it chronicles the beginnings of what we would call the Christian church. Through out we see God building up His church, and that He uses very flawed people to advance His kingdom, which is quite a relief for me the more I understand how truly flawed I am! In one of the recent passages I read (Acts 15) the apostles were dealing with the question of circumcision and whether or not they should require Gentile Christians to have the ritual performed. Their conclusion was that there was no reason to burden their new brothers in this way because it was not necessary for salvation. In fact, Paul goes into great detail in Galatians and his other letters about how salvation is based on faith and not works. So when I got to Acts 16 where Timothy (a Gentile/Jewish believer) gets circumcised I was initially confused. Why, after all of that discussion about not requiring Gentile believers to have this done, does this young man get circumcised? Is this just a contradiction? A typo? In light of 1 Corinthians 8 I would say none of the above.

What first clued me into their (Timothy, Paul, and Barnabas) reasoning was the context: "because of the Jews who lived in the area." On their journey, these men would encounter a great majority of Jews who they would be witnessing to. At first I thought about how very little Paul seemed to care about what others thought and how he even reprimanded Peter for avoiding his Gentile brothers at one point because they hadn't been circumcised, but then I remembered 1 Corinthians 8. This particular passage deals with eating food sacrificed to idols, something Jewish law would have condemned. Paul tells the church in Corinth that "food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do." Moreover, he reminds them that "an idol is nothing at all in the world, and that there is no God but one." Therefore, eating such food would have no true, eternal condemnation for them. But then he adds a stipulation, which I believe answers my question regarding Acts 16. Paul says, "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols?...Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

Rather than looking at Acts 16 and claiming some sort of hypocrisy or contradiction, I see it as a fleshing out of Paul's belief that though we have freedom in Christ we must exercise it carefully. He knew that if Timothy remained uncircumcised it would be a stumbling block to the Jews they witnessed to, and found it far better to defer to their weakness then flaunt their freedom. So often we sit in judgement of those around us, including our Christian brothers and sisters. I do this myself on a daily basis and lately God has really been convicting me about it. I've come to the conclusion that we should always err on the side of grace, remembering what we've been forgiven and chose to forgive others. I don't mean to say that we shouldn't call sin sin or that we should live in chains; there is absolutely a time and a place to humbly confront our Christian brothers and sisters about sin and we should always remember that we are free from the bondage of the law, but our lives should always be about living in love toward one another, even if it means we have to give up some of our freedoms.