Thursday, August 12, 2010

Reflections on Grace

Being a church rat and having wonderful, Christian parents, I have lived what the world would consider a “good life”. As a people pleaser, I avoid conflict and prefer to be the doormat or the peacemaker quite often and so have been labeled a “good kid”. Though I spent most of my life learning that I was a sinner who fell short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23) and that grace was what saved me (Ephesians 2:8-9), I did not live my life as if I really understood this. The way I viewed others, especially in comparison to myself, was harsh, unfair, and unjust. But then, the Lord began to do a painful but important work in my life. I am quite certain the root of the sin that humbled me existed long before the fruit was born, but I of course made excuses for it, thinking it was quite harmless. But as the Lord would have it, that tiny seed I glossed over became a plant, humbling me painfully, showing me that apart from God’s grace I would be just as sinful as those I judged. It amazed me that sin could be used in such a way, to reveal something so essential to God’s character, but it most certainly did. It made my salvation that much sweeter, God’s mercy that much more clear, and His grace quite evident. Getting a taste of the depth of my sin did not only deepen my view of God, however, it also began to grow my sense of grace towards others. Whereas before I could not understand or sympathize with a great majority of the “sinners” around me, it suddenly became so clear that I was as in much need of grace as they were. The stories of the Pharisees not getting it when Christ told them it was the sick that needed a doctor finally broke through to me and I understood that I was alive in Christ but ill because I still needed His gracious work in my life as I worked out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

Of course, that does not give me the excuse to go on sinning, rather, the grace is constantly motivating me to flee from the sin that steals my joy and interferes with my relationship with God. Because I know that through grace Christ has set my relationship right with the Father, and that He saved me to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), I want to sow to the Spirit so that I can live by the Spirit. While this is by no means easy, I know that even when I do make mistakes, that God promises to forgive us of our sins. And so as I continue to run the race, my prayer is that I will understand grace more and more daily, trusting that the Lord is good and faithful, and will continue to extend it to me until the good work He began in me is carried out into completion.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Your kingdom come, Your will be done


1 Kings 6:38 - 7:1
"He took seven years building [the temple]. It took Solomon thirteen years, however, to complete the construction of his palace."

In the Lord's prayer, Christ taught us to pray that God the Father's kingdom would come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. We pray it every week at my church and I attempt to pray a variation of the prayer every night before I go to bed, at least to remind myself that God has chosen me, along with the rest of His people, to be part of His advancing kingdom. But as I read about Solomon, wise King Solomon whose splendor is legendary, I am reminded of how easily I fall into placing my kingdom above Gods. Certainly I pray and I speak of God's glory, praising Him for the things He has given me, but I am so often side tracked by yearning for praise that my efforts are soiled. Motivation is as important as action, and I find myself wanting to be godly because it will earn the praise of those around me, rather than earning praise for the One who is refining me, the One who died so that I could be redeemed in the first place. I am just like Solomon and his palace, building up that which is for me rather than using all of my efforts for that which will glorify God. I am so thankful for this story, for the warning to flee from such frivolous pursuits. Like Solomon's palace, the kingdom I build will vanish one day, blown away never to be remembered, but God's kingdom is eternal, God's kingdom will carry on. My prayer is that I will work to advance His kingdom and not my own, and by His mercy and grace my motivation will begin to change.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Still Here

It's been a while since I've posted but I'm still here! The summer is in full swing and things have been quite busy. Once all the kids are out of school allowing the teachers a break our days are mostly spent with them, either going to lunch or coffee or ice cream or ridiculous midnight showings. Very little office works gets done and the days get longer. I enjoy the summer because I get to hang with kids who are often to busy to hang during the school year and even though it wipes me out and often feel I have more energy. Right now we are in the middle of a feisty game of assassins and on Monday we have to be at the airport bright and early (5:30 AM) to head to Georgia for our Jr High mission trip. My prayer is for a summer that glorifies God and wisdom for the future, my future in particular. Thanks to anyone who's been reading and hopefully I will be a little more consistent.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

For the Good


"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Why is this so hard to remember in times of trouble? Anger, bitterness, sadness, confusion all cloud our minds to the truth of God and we give into them so very easily. It doesn't matter what He has done for us in the past, how many times He has saved us from desperate situations, our emotions and our self worship blind us to the lessons we've learned time and again. As His children He will always bring us back, open our eyes to the truth, but for a little while we tend to forget. The only way to combat this emotional fog is to immerse ourselves into His word, to speak His truth, the truth, into our lives. The moment a bitter or angry thought threatens to govern us, our first reaction should be to speak His word. Hebrews 4:11 says, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." It has power to bring about change in our lives as the Holy Spirit brings us to understand what the Father is saying, but we must use it.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

At Any Cost

A prayer written by Betty Stam, missionary to China, beheaded in 1934 by Chinese communists:

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept they will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all, utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

To Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever

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"For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him." Colossians 1:16

For years I have struggled with the idea that I might never get married. I've dealt with loneliness, the lie that there is something undesirable in my make up, with bitterness, even anger. There have been times were I've "decided" that I was meant to be abstinent, times when I've feared this may actually be the case, times when I've been content, times when I've been miserable. The last few years have been particularly difficult living alone and watching nearly all of my friends get married and have babies. I've wondered if I'm being punished, as silly as it sounds, for some sin I didn't know I was committing, I've wondered if peace would ever come, or if I just had to get to a certain level of holiness before God "let" me have some great kind of love. On the other hand, I've also dealt with fear of the very thing I so desperately want. I've never been in a relationship of that sort before and frankly the idea is a little scary.

But through all of this God has revealed to me a valuable truth. My purpose in this life is not to get a husband. Shocking isn't it? Growing up in a semi-southern state it almost seems as if lots of women go to college to get their MRS degree ("Mrs." for those of you have just gotten lunch and are feeling the desperate need for a nap). As I said before, nearly all of my friends (from college and high school) have gotten married and a few are having children, and while it is doubtful that any of them actually went to school to get married, those of us who did not ended up feeling left out and secretly (sometimes not so secretly) bitter. Moreover, almost every movie or TV show that comes out touts the idea that finding your "soul mate" is the most important thing. Even in action movies there is quite often some little romance going on. It's no wonder we single women believe the lie that the most important thing is to find romantic love and be loved in return (no offense to Mulan Rouge).

So what is our purpose in life? Colossians tells us pretty clearly. We were created to serve the God who created us! Now this may mean marriage for some. He may be the most glorified by two people coming together and creating a family... but He may not. This isn't just a lesson for women but men as well. If we are not doing what we are created to do, then no romance, not even a great one, will ever fill us up. Augustine said it best: "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." Even as Christians we struggle with the restlessness. Let us seek satisfaction in our created purpose, only then will we find our rest.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

Ever since I was a little kid I have enjoyed running. I distinctly remember going to the high school track with my dad and jogging around it just for fun and in the second grade I even won the high honor of beating everyone in the half mile race. Throughout Jr. High, High School, and College I continued to run off and on, sometimes favoring the machines at the gym, walking, or even jumping rope. In the end, I always returned to running. As much as I enjoy running, however, I have found that having a goal,whether big or small, helps to spur me on, especially when I'm not feeling like dragging myself out of bed. My current goal is to be able to run a half marathon, but having smaller goals helps me to eventually reach my 13.2 miles. One of the biggest mistakes new runners make is looking at the ground while they run. Instead, it's good to keep your eyes straight ahead, focusing on what is in front of you and how you are getting closer and closer to the finish line. The Christian life is no different. When we focus too much on the things around us, the little troubles and trials beneath our feet, we lose our stamina and lose focus on the most important thing. Christ has gone on ahead to prepare a place for us in His Father's house (John 14:2), and that is our destination. Moreover, once we enter into eternity, we enter into the perfection he has already achieved for us. Above all we should not be disheartened by the sins we struggle with and the trials we face now, rather, we should press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Stuff My Bra...


Filled under TMI.

Girls athletic wear is seriously lacking in the way of pockets. I suppose that maybe some are better equipped than what I wear, but then I'm really cheap and tend to wear the same stuff for years (hence the holes in my beloved exercise t-shirts). The problem is that when I run I must have a few things, things that are absolutely essential if I want to be able to reenter my apartment complex without a lot of hassle, things like a gate key and my actual apartment key. On top of that, I enjoy running with an I-pod to add a little extra bounce to my step and while I used to have an arm band that held it in place, it somehow got lost in the shuffle in one of my many moves in the last few years. The remedy? Stuff the bras! As I wear two sports bras when I work out it's quite easy to secure my I-Pod and gate key between the layers of fabric and not have to hold everything. I admit it can be a bit uncomfortable at times and some items do shift during the flight, but it's better than gripping them in my sweaty hands and choking myself with the ear buds cord. As for my house key there is one tiny pocket in my shorts that holds it very nicely, and if all else fails I can tie it to my tennis shoes. I'm sure that all of this is much more than any of you wanted to hear, but the title came to me around mile four today and I had to share. Anyone else have creative ways to deal with necessary items when working out?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Wishing for a Taxi


One of the nice things about living in Peru was the taxi system. You could choose to walk most places because everything is fairly close, but if you had a bunch of stuff to carry, it was raining, or you were in a hurry or just feeling lazy you could flag down a taxi. In the first month or so I was there I watched as other interns haggled with prices and soon learned what reasonable rates were, what taxis you were never to take, and the routes to most of the places I wanted to go. By the end of my time there I could haggle with the best of them, normally getting what people would call the "Peruvian rate" (i.e. what taxi drivers would charge the Peruvians). Today I am wishing for a taxi. Despite the fact that my poor car has been to the shop three times (one stint for two weeks) the check engine light is on again! My mother insists that I get it in this morning because she doesn't want me to get stranded but, despite the wisdom I see in this advice, I have a few problems. 1) They live out in Fulshear, a full 35-45 minutes away from here and so, even if she drove up to lone me her car I would need to take her back. 2) I am working today, taking the Jr. High girls to the Galleria to eat lunch and ice skate. While I am using the church's suburban, I still have to drive up to the church and then back later. 3) Borrowing my mom's car would leave her stranded again.

I am very frustrated with my car right now. The check engine light has always been ultra sensitive but after being stranded (and spending an exorbitant amount of money fixing it) we don't want to take any chances. I just want the darn thing to be fixed, at least for longer than a few weeks. Unfortunately, living in a city like Houston requires that you own a car (generally speaking of course) because the transportation system isn't so great. On top of that, I pick up girls all the time, run errands, and really doubt it's safe for me to walk to work. Thankfully, both of my parents have cars and will be loaning me the truck yet again, hopefully not for too long. I just need to be praying for patience... and that I'll remember to get a temporary parking pass from the apartment complex.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Praises!

I now have both my car and computer back! Detailed stories to come but for now, let's just say it was quite an eventful time and I am very thankful to have them back!

Reflections of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient" ...even in traffic...

"love is kind" ... no matter the circumstance no matter the person...

"It does not envy" ... any of her married or dating friends...

"it does not boast" ... of her accomplishments...

"it is not proud" ... about anything...

"It is not rude" ... to anyone...

"it is not self-seeking" ... but rather seeks God...

"it is not easily angered"... no matter how justified...

"it keeps no record of wrongs" ... but forgives as God has forgiven...

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth"... no matter how painful...

"It always protects" ... everyone around her...

"always trusts" ... no matter the person...

"always hopes" ... in the Lord Jesus Christ...

"always perseveres" ... through every trial...

"Love never fails" ... even when feelings pass away.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Car Drama

For the past week or so it seems that technology or really anything mechanical has been in rebellion against me. It started with my car, Super Bowl Sunday. I was about five minutes from my parents house in Fulshear when the oil light came on. No big deal. In theory. We took it in the next morning and I borrowed my mother's car. By Tuesday my mom got the car back only to watch as the oil light turned on again. She took it back and after changing the type of oil, we attempted to drive it again. As "luck" would have it, the oil light continued to flash though we had changed the oil twice. After some discussions with mechanically minded guys I decided it was just a short but kept an ear open for any strange sounds.

I drove to Fulshear again Sunday night with no trouble, but today, as I was getting off on the Kirkwood I heard a strange clicking sound. At first I wasn't that worried, after all, it wasn't a banging, just a light click, but then I stopped at the stop light. When I tried to hit the gas again I got nowhere. No matter what I tried I was stuck. I put on my hazards (which did nothing to deter the driver's behind me from honking as if I wanted to be sitting in the middle of the road) and called Allsate, only to be informed that I was not on the policy. My mother, however, called and was given different information, that yes, I was on the policy, but I was better off calling the police because they would get there faster. Forty five minutes later my parents arrive, still no truck. We fought for another ten minutes with the Allstate people and my dad eventually walked into the Chevy place to ask for a truck. Five minutes later, just as promised, the tow truck belonging to the Chevy dealership arrived and towed my pig to the Toyota dealership across the highway (thank goodness they are close).

It was a crazy afternoon. I sat in my car for about an hour and a half watching my hazards stop working and thanking God for the blessings of the situation. Here's a little list:
  1. I wasn't on the highway when I broke down
  2. It wasn't raining
  3. It happened on my day off
  4. I had a charged cell phone
  5. A sweet lady stopped and helped me push my car up into the little driveway by the Chevy dealership.
  6. Both of my parents have cars
  7. My mom is retired and doesn't need her car for work
  8. I had a coat
  9. It didn't happen at night
So while it was a big pain in the butt, and will continue to be until they fix it all up, I did have a ton to be thankful for. Hopefully they will get back to me soon and my mom will have a car to drive again.

As for the other technological mishap? I dropped my computer last Monday and dented the side. Still waiting for the new part to come in. My thankful list?
  1. I had a protective cover on it
  2. It wasn't raining yet
  3. It still closes... sort of

In summation, always better to be thankful.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Redeeming Love


Sunday night around 4 A.M. I finished reading Redeeming Love. About my sophomore year in college I gave up on modern Christian fiction. Most of it was badly written and teetered more towards cheesy romance than actual good literature and therefore I decided not to waste my time. Besides, I reasoned, only Christians read Christian fiction, and that severely limits the witness you could have if you chose instead to simply be a writer who was a Christian. I had been told in high school, however, that I absolutely had to read Redeeming Love. It was beautiful, wonderful, amazing and so on and so forth. I hardly remember the arguments now, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally decided to buy the book and get down to it. I bought it because I dog ear everything I read and didn't want to destroy someone else's book. That night I was up until about 2 AM reading, almost unable to put it down. The story describes a young woman named Sarah, born out of wedlock with a father who wishes she had never been born and a mother who spirals quickly down at the loss of his love, selling her body for money until she dies on the docks in New York. Sarah is then unwittingly sold into prostitution at the age of 8 and begins a ten year struggle to survive, growing more and more hard and distrustful as time passes. The first chapter picks up with her arrival in California during the gold rush. Now called "Angel" for her beauty, the young prostitute is considered quite the commodity to the men coming back from panning gold, separated from women for extended periods of time. Then we meet Michael Hosea. Having come into town to sell the produce of his land and buy supplies, the farmer catches sight of Angel walking through the streets, guarded by a man with a gun. At this moment he receives a clear message from God: "Marry her." The story goes on to describe how Michael's love softens the hardened girl and how his faith drives her to the foot of the cross. It is the story of Hosea, the story of Israel, my story. I would recommend this to anyone, even an unbeliever as it paints such a strong picture of our depravity and God's grace.

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Mess with Children


Just for a good laugh.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked,"What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied,"Then you ask him."



* * *

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

* * *

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."

* * *

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

* * *

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or, "That's Michael, he's a doctor."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

* * *

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

* * *

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.!"

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Breaking News!

Ok, maybe not the most exciting news in the world, but for a girl who really enjoys to cook it's quite exciting: I just poached an egg. Ever since watching Julie and Julia I've been wanting to try and poach an egg but have been a bit... apprehensive. I didn't have normal vinegar so I used red wine vinegar and while it tasted a little strange it was still very good atop turkey bacon. Next challenge: hollandaise sauce!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Cooking Obsession: Goat Cheese Quesadillas

Perhaps this blog should be entitled "Goat Cheese obsession" because I LOVE goat cheese. This is a recipe I found on fitnessmagazine.com, I just added chicken!

Ingredients:

1 boneless chicken breast
1 tsp of sugar
1 tbs of olive oil
1/3 cup of chopped onions
1/2 cup of chopped spinach
Balsamic vinegar
2 tbs of goat cheese
2 HEB tortillas (because, let's face it, they are the bomb.com)

Instructions:
1. Salt and pepper the chicken and then marinate in balsamic vinegar for about half and hour. Place in pan coated with olive oil and cook on medium high for about 20 minutes or until it's cooked all the way through.

2. As the chicken is cooking, saute the onions in the sugar and olive oil until they turn light brown.

3. Set the onions aside and saute spinach in the same pan you caramelized the onions in until they are slightly reduced.

4. Cover the tortillas with goat cheese, onions, spinach and chicken, then place back in the pan until both sides are crispy.

5. Enjoy!

Friday, January 22, 2010

If It's Christ We Believe in We Shouldn't be Confused with the Heathens

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come," 2 Corinthians 5:17.

One of the great gifts of a life changed by Christ is the realization that our works are not what save us. A great burden is lifted when we are made aware of the fact that because we have Christ's righteousness on our record and we no longer have to try and make our "good acts" outweigh the bad. But one of the mistakes we often make when coming to this realization is that we think, "Well hey, if my works aren't what save me then I can do whatever I want!" This, of course, is a lie. We take grace and forgiveness for granted and live lives just as we did before. Paul anticipated this argument in Romans after he explained that we live under grace. "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Romans 6: 1-2. Now, as new creatures in Christ, we must strive to glorify God in the way we live, not because we fear losing our salvation, or we think that our good works will somehow make Him love us more, but because we want to honor Him. Thankfully, we are not left to change on our own. Ephesians says, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

It's no wonder the world often perceives us as hypocrites. Sometimes we take advantage of the grace of God, and live as if we have not been saved from the punishment we deserve. May we strive to glorify God in our lives, and to help the kingdom come in the world we live in. God has allowed us to be His tools in the world, now let's act like it. But let us not forget where we came from, that before the grace of Christ we were deserving of hell. Our holy lives should be tempered with the humility that comes from how little we deserve the grace we've been granted.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Powerless God I Could Not Praise

"This, then, is of faith, that everything, the very least, or what seems to us great, every change of the seasons, everything which touches us in mind, body, or estate, whether brought about through this outward senseless nature, or by the will of man, good or bad, is overruled to each of us by the all-holy and all-loving will of god. Whatever befalls us, however it befalls, us, we must receive as the will of god. If it befalls us through man's negligence or ill-will or anger, still it is, even the least circumstance, to us the will of god. For if the least thing could happen to us without God's permissions, it would be something out of God's control. God's providence or His love would not be what they are. Almighty God Himself would not be the same God; not the God whom we believe, adore, and love." Mary Wilder Tileston

A friend of our family's recently experienced tragedy. One of the young men at her church died in a car accident. In a conversation with my mother, she rationed that "God did not want it to happen." This made my stomach turn. In painful times when we cannot understand and when our emotions run high we can see absolutely no good whatever in the situation. Our human minds, small and limited, grasp only what we see and therefore we say that if God is good then He mustn't have had anything to do with this great loss. But what we do not realize, what we have difficulty accepting, is that God is both good and sovereign. For the non-church rats in the crowd, sovereign means in control. He is the author of our lives. Romans 8:28 says "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." This is a great comfort, for if God was just good and not sovereign, then life is nothing but chaos. The deaths and hurts and sorrows and losses would all be meaningless, with no benefit in the end. If God is good and not sovereign then I have no protection whatsoever. If God is only good and not sovereign then I have absolutely no guarantee in my salvation. Personally, the thought of a good God with no control is terrifying to me. I would rather rest in the fact that He knows the number of my days, that He has my good in mind. A powerless God I could not praise.

Ephesians 2:8-9, Reflections on Grace

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no man can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Last night I began to watch Prison Break. All summer the guys at the office talked about it nearly every day, and finally, after months of saying I was going to get into it so I would know what on earth they were talking about, I've begun the first season. Aside from the fact that their voices were not matching with their mouths (I am watching it on the internet, go figure) I think I'm going to enjoy it. But something struck me while I was watching it that lead to a conviction this morning. One of the characters in prison (I don't remember his name) wrote a letter to his girlfriend asking her to marry him, he then goes on to make a comment about them meeting in a conjugal trailer. My first reaction was a massive eye roll. How romantic, I thought, you're already sleeping together so what's the point? (Please note the sarcasm) This is my typical reaction when I watch TV shows or movies where characters are sleeping together outside the bounds of marriage, I get frustrated and almost always roll my eyes. However, this morning, as I was considering my reaction, I realized something very important, the people on these shows, the writers, the directors etc. are most likely not Christians. Point being? If these people are not followers of Christ, then why on earth should I expect them to act as such? When you think about it, my reaction is rather ridiculous. I'm wanting to cure the symptoms (fornication in this instance) and yet completely ignoring the disease. How foolish would it be to give a patient with a brain tumor drugs to deal with the pain but refuse to operate? We simply would not do that. What I should be doing is praying for those around me, and realize that I, myself, am under grace as Ephesians 2 says. Moreover, I must be bold in sharing the gospel to those around me rather than wanting them to simply change their ways. As Romans 10: 14 says "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" God has graciously allowed us to be His tools in the world, may we seek to advance His kingdom daily.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

1 Corinthians 11:3, Reflections on "Equality"

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11: 3

It truly saddens me when I hear people speak of the bible as being in some way sexist. The modern woman rebells vehemently against the idea of being created second, of being called to submit to her husband, and yet what she does not realize is how much the bible truly cherishes the female sex. Not being married, it is rather easy for me to promote the idea of wifely submission, after all, I don't have a husband I have to submit to at the moment, but I pray daily that if and when I do get married, God will grant me the strength to do so. Scripture provides extensively for women, especially during a time period where they were viewed as possessions rather than individuals, but one of the most incredible passages of scripture to me is 1 Corinthians 11.

At first glance, most modern women (who I have perhaps not so lovingly dubbed feminazis) recoil from the phrase "the head of the woman is man", and I can, in a sense, understand their reaction. It sounds as if Paul is saying women are second class citizens, that we do not share in the kingdom the same way as men, even that we are not as valuable. But if we remember to take scripture in context, if we remember to consider all the verses, we might remember what Paul said in Galatians 3:28, that "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Clearly, Paul had a very high view of both men and women. Therefore, we must come to an alternative conclusion.

This summer I taught a Junior High bible study that consisted of both boys and girls. The book we studied was 1 Peter and, not surprising, we came across the section that spoke about wives submitting to their husbands. My personal convictions aside, I knew I would need to make this accessible not only to Junior highers (who have the attention span of a teaspoon for the most part) but also to the post modern mind. However, the most important lesson I wanted to teach the was that the bible is the source of truth. I began searching through scripture to find verses that would corroborate the passage in Peter. It was then that the Lord lead me (with the help of my trusty commentary) to 1 Corinthians 11:3.

What struck me about this verse, and what I tried to make clear to the kids I was teaching, was the very end of the verse, "and the head of Christ is God." Immediately I realized the implication. Christ is God, He is equal to God (Philippians 2:6-11), and yet He submits to the Father. If that is the case, then what Paul is saying is not that women are inferior to men, or that they share any less in the kingdom. Rather, Paul is describing the roles we were created to take. Christ takes the role of the Son in the Trinity and therefore submits to God the Father, and if He can do that without losing any of His worth or value, then why can't we as women accept the idea of submitting to our current or potential husbands? The clear answer is sin, our flesh refuses to do what it was created to do (Romans 7:14-21). Thankfully, God does not leave us here, rather, He changes us, gives us a new heart (2 Corinthians 5:17), and then works with us to become more holy daily (Ephesians 2:10).

May God continue to work in our hearts and advance His kingdom.


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Senior High Girls Retreat

Friday night I took the senior high girls out to my parents house in Fulshear for fun, food, and fellowship (like the alliteration?). Aside from having to drive the van through traffic at 6:15 PM through the rain, everything went really well! My parents even invited them back for a pool party when we get one put in!

Shannon, Marie, and Anna washing dishes after breakfast.

Marie and Anna... still washing.
Meg, enjoying an apple.
Shannon, Marie, Victoria and Helen after a long night of little sleep.
Alison eating a piece of Marie's birthday cake.
Victoria and Meg... Meg got no sleep that night.
Abigail, Hannah, and Shannon. I believe this was after dinner Friday night.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Guards Mock Jesus, Reflections on Luke 22: 63-65

The men who were guarding Jesus began mocking and beating Him. They blindfolded Him and demanded, "Prophesy! Who hit you?" And they said many other insulting things to Him. Luke 22: 63-65

I often look at this passage with judgement on the guards, my sense of justice outraged by their treatment of Him, not merely an innocent man but the God of the Universe. But while this outraged sense of justice is valid, my own self-righteous judgement is not. Like the guards, I mock and insult Jesus with my sin daily, proving how apathetic I am toward His holiness that demands perfection. The treatment the guards showed Christ fulfilled prophesy, but was without excuse. May I see more clearly my sin and die to it daily. May I be enabled to look on sin and see it as such and yet not act as a pharisee and perceive myself as above it. May God be glorified in me.

Friday, January 01, 2010

New Year's Prayer List

Rather than writing out a bunch of resolutions that I will be sure to break within about five minutes, I have decided to make a New Year's Prayer List. This way, it will help me develop the mindset of sanctification; working with the Holy Spirit to become the woman God wants me to be. So, here is my list thus far. I began making it last night around 2 am, so it might be incomplete.

  • Spiritual - my prayer is that God will help me memorize more scripture, to pray more consistently, to be more patient, to trust God when I am afraid, and to be more humble and forgiving. (clearly there is much more than this, but it would take far too long to write it all down)
  • Physical - To be more healthy. God gave me one body and I need to take care of it in a way that is honoring to Him.
  • Emotional - To base my emotions on what I know to be true in scripture and of God rather than my perceptions.
  • Financial - To be wise and giving with the money God has blessed me with.
  • Career - To seek God's will for my future.
I can't do anything of these things on my own, but I know that at the very least praying for God to help me with these things will draw me closer to Him and might bring me closer to where He wants me to be. Anybody else making resolutions or prayer lists?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sufficient

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."  2 Corinthians 12:9

When I am at my lowest, God is with me.  I may feel as if I am completely alone, utterly abandoned, and yet He never leaves me.  Even when I am faithless, God is faithful.  He is my strength when I am weak, my joy when I am desperate, my peace when I'm afraid.  Why does my heart not understand this?  I know it to be true and yet I cannot seem to rely on it as I should.  The journey is a long one.  God doesn't just wave a wand over our lives and poof everything is as it should be.  Rather, He allows us to participate in our sanctification.  It hurts.  Frankly, it sometimes stinks.  I don't always believe that He will work all things for my good and His glory though I know it to be true.  Daily I must be reminded.  Daily I have to pray.  Oh that I would say with Paul that I will  "boast all the ore gladly about my weakness" that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I might be able to one day, though I'm not sure if it will be in this world or the next.  For now I fall at the foot of the cross, crying out that my strength is not sufficient.  Maybe that's where I always need to be.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

My Five Books of 2009

I got this idea from Brian Franklin's blog and thought it was great!  These are my favorite books of 2009.  They aren't all that deep or philosophical, but I'm proud to have finished a few and the rest were just fun!  Leave your top five as well!

1.)  The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas
The discussion of revenge in this book is quite interesting.
While I did not agree so much with the conclusion, I very
much enjoyed reading the story.



2.) Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
I tried reading this once in high school
and failed.  For some reason I found it 
difficult.  This time around it really made 
sense.  His practicality and theology 
are so rich.  I would recommend it to anyone


3.)  Emma by Jane Austin
With her witty dialogue and satire
Jane Austin never fails to keep my attention.
Emma had me laughing out loud almost
every time I read it.




4.)Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper
Another second timer, Don't Waste Your Life
has a lot of good things to say.  I will probably
read it again though as I was struggling with 
insomnia quite a bit this time and didn't absorb
all of it.  However, I still found it inspiring.


5.)Fer de Lance by Rex Stout
I love mysteries.  My favorite author so far 
is actually Harlan Coben, he never fails to 
shock me with the conclusion, but I just 
recently started reading about Nero Wolf,
a quite fat detective and Arche Goodwin, his
assistant.  Witty and clever, I will probably be 
reading more of Stout's works in the near
future.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!









Just a few things to be thankful for.  
"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably, with reverence and awe."  Hebrews 12:28

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Halloween

Ok, so for the most part I really don't like Halloween. I can't watch TV because scary movies are rampant along with freaky episodes of TV shows, people throw water balloons at your car nearly causing you to get into accidents (true story, jerks), and there is no awesome meal with the family like at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and even the Fourth of July! However, the costume party I went to for our singles group at church was a lot of fun! I got to connect with the singles much more than I have in the past, there was lots of good food (queso!), and some really funny costumes! In the end it was a fun night! Here is a picture of a few of us. If you can't tell, I'm a bumble bee and yes, I am having to stand on my toes to get my arms over the girls on either side of me. I'm short, but tall enough to reach my hair as my dad says!

From left to right: Dr. House, Nikki (I can't remember what she was), a bumble bee, Wonder Woman, Shaggy, and in front, a tennis player! The guy who was House had the walk with the cane down almost perfectly. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw him do it! There was also a Thelma to the Shaggy, but she wasn't in the picture.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Quest For Love


Every girl should read this book.  Apart from the Bible I think that this book has changed my life more than any other book I've ever read.  Elisabeth Elliot not only gives sound counsel but uses examples from the countless letters she has received focusing in on couples who have waited on God's timing and those who have tried to go their own way.  She encourages men to be men, to not say "I love you" unless they are ready to marry you, to be the initiator, and she urges women to be but gentle and quiet spirits who wait on the Lord.  In a time where we are told to flirt, that it's ok to be the one to call, that sharing a bed before marriage is not only ok but perfectly natural it is incredibly refreshing to read her wise words.  God has given me a great deal of peace about relationships through this book and the scripture Elliot uses and I pray that He will create in me the most gentle and quiet spirit who will either one day be a supportive and submissive wife or a soul set apart to serve the kingdom unmarried.  I encourage everyone, men and women, to read this and be encouraged, inspired and I'm very excited to go through it with the Jr. High girls!

Insomnia Update

God is good, even when I don't get any sleep, but I feel so blessed this morning after crashing at midnight last night and sleeping until my alarm went off.  I pray that I praise God whatever sleep I get or don't get and that I continue to learn the lesson of trust.  I am thankful that He's put me in this situation where I don't have parents or roommates to rely on and I have to cling to Him.  It's very difficult sometimes, but if insomnia is my biggest struggle then I think God's being pretty easy on me.  I look back on Paul's struggles and kind of feel like a wimp!  He was beaten, ship wrecked, thrown in jail, and insulted and through all of this God used him in a mighty way to advance His kingdom.  I can only pray that God will use me in such a way, even if that means that I have to face more sever trials in order to do so.  

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragements.  Lord willing the ability to sleep will continue, but if not pray that I will praise Him just the same.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

More Insomnia

Can't sleep.  Really need your prayers.  I'm pretty exhausted.  I know God is teaching me something, maybe to rely on Him alone, but I am so tired... I know I don't deserve what could only be considered grace by being allowed to sleep soundly, my mind at peace, but I need it so desperately.  I really need sleep.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Mark That One off the List

It's official, I finally finished The Count of Monte Cristo.  Loved it, but I'm glad to be finished.  I thoroughly plan on waiting until January to start Les Miserables, I need a break.  In the near future I plan to write my thoughts on it, but for now I leave with this:  I finished!  Yay!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

A Study of Psalm 23 - As written at 3:30 A.M. Friday 2, 2009

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want"
  • A shepherd cares for His sheep, protecting them from danger and providing for them.  Therefore, if the Lord is our shepherd, He will protect, care fore, and guide us.  He sufficient.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,"
  • Our shepherd provides abundantly for us by leading us to good food (His word) and safe water (Himself).  What's more, we can rest in these provisions because He is faithful. 
"He restores my soul."
  • The purpose of all history is the cross.  Our souls are brought back to what they were supposed to be in the garden - a right relationship with the God of the universe. 
"He guides me in paths of righteousness, for His name's sake."
  • The Lord leads us in His ways, bringing us into His righteousness in order that we may glorify His name.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
  • While we will go through difficult and potentially dangerous times two things we can be sure of: 1) it is only a shadow, we may suffer but it is only for a little while.  2) We should not fear because our shepherd is with us and He carries a rod and staff that are mighty to save and guide and discipline if necessary.
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies..."
  • He welcomes us as friends, promising protection.
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
  • Though I may not always see it, for my view of things is so small and limited, God's goodness, His perfect goodness, and perfect love surround and follow me.  He will never leave nor forsake me though my own heart may grow faint, and in the end I will understand and praise His name.


Final note: this was written at three or four in the morning so forgive the weakness of the writing.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Passion and Purity

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living."  Jim Elliott

Being single can be very lonely.  I listen to the serpent who lies in my ear telling me that God's holding back His blessings from me, that I'm single because there is something wrong with me, that being single is some kind of curse.  I get frightened being alone at night and forget that I am just as safe in my apartment than at my parents house because God is the one watching over me, His rod and His staff ready to defend and discipline if necessary.  I over analyze relationships, the things I say, how I react, and wonder if maybe I'm just not acceptable in the eyes of man.  I forget that the only One I need to please is my Father in heaven, and that He is the one sanctifying me, He is the one who created me, He is the one I have to answer to.  I find myself talking to the TV or just to myself.  Sometimes I even resent my friends for getting married and engaged.  Why not me?  What did I do wrong?  

My mom and dad just bought me a book by Elizabeth Elliott called Passion and Purity.  In it, Elliott writes about her relationship with Jim, their struggles, their prayers and decisions, in order to speak to us today not just to encourage us to be pure in our relationships, but more to teach us to bring our love lives under Christ's control.  She talks about wondering whether or not God had called her to be single, about meeting and falling in love with Jim, about his confession that they might never be able to get married due to his commitment to do mission work where single men were required.  Just the thought of falling in love with a man who loved me back but wasn't sure we would ever be able to get married scares me a little.  I know how the story ends of course, they eventually get married; Jim proposes to Elizabeth in Quito where they also get married, they have one daughter, and then Jim is killed by the very tribe he was ministering too.  Three years.  They were married three years.  If I were Elizabeth Elliott I can't imagine how I would have reacted.  I would love to say that after understandable mourning I would have praised God for the three years I had with Jim, I would love to say that I would have jumped at the opportunity to mission to the same tribe that murdered my husband, but I don't know.  God works powerfully but I know I would have struggled with anger, wondering why He took away someone I loved so much and waited for so long, someone who had been doing His work!  The story just baffles me.  Makes me cry.  It also encourages me.

One of my favorite songs in high school, the title of which now escapes me, had a chorus that went something like this: 'There's a bigger picture you can't see, you don't have to change the world just trust in me...'  Those words spoke to me then, reminding me of how small a perspective I have of this world.  I see all events as completely centered around me.  I see only what I imagine I am suffering.  I see only my little sphere forgetting that I am a spec in the grand scheme.  However, though I am a mere speck, God has called me to be His own and therefore I have a purpose.  Right now, that purpose calls me to be single and I need to be reminded that this is a blessing.  Paul urged his readers to remain single because the single man/woman can focus all of their thoughts on God and His work with no spouse or children to distract.  Not to say that falling in love and getting married and having kids isn't a blessing as well, but for right now that's not what God has given me.  I pray that I don't allow my longing to slay the appetite of my living!  I pray that I will not ache for things God has not willed to give me!  I pray that I will see this time of loneliness as an opportunity to serve God with all of me, all of my time, all of my resources.  I pray that I stop listening to Satan when he lies and tries to twist God's word around.  It's not an easy thing, but the life of a Christian isn't supposed to be.  Thankfully, there is rest at the end.  I'll pass from this world into the full realization of what it means to glorify God and rest in Him for eternity.  I'll see the whole picture, taste pure joy, and understand the fullness of His promises.  Oh that I might strive to live fully for the glory of God now as Jesus did.  That I would not waste my time longing, and start living.

"Wherever you are, be all there.  Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."  Jim Elliott

Friday, September 18, 2009

John Ferguson is My Hero Today

I steal lots of things from John's blog, hopefully he doesn't mind.

A Conversation about Heaven & Exclusivity
Bobby slammed his coffee cup on the counter a little bit harder than he intended to: “You see, this is what frustrates me about you Christians. You all think that only Christians will be in Heaven. What about other people, like Gandhi, Buddha, or any other number of good people?”

Greg was a little surprised a Bobby’s intensity. They had connected a couple times previously in the semester getting coffee before their Philosophy 301 class and had always enjoyed asking each other what they believed. Greg tilted his head a bit and suggested somewhat teasingly, “Well, Bobby, I’m glad that you at least believe in Heaven.”

“Now, I didn’t say that, I consider myself open to the idea. But…," and then he hesitated.

They both sat down and poured packets of sugar into their coffee. “But…if there were a heaven, Christians are wrong about it?” Greg offered.

“They are wrong about it if they think that only Christians will be there. That’s just too…too…?”

“Exclusive? You think Christians are too exclusive.”

“Exactly,” nodded Bobby. The two college juniors sat in the corner where the sun was shining through the blinds.

“Okay,” said Greg, pausing. “It sounds like you’ve spent some time thinking about this. Let me ask you a question.”

“Shoot.”

“What kinds of people will be there?”

Bobby didn’t hesitate. “All kinds of people will be there, young & old, rich & poor, Jews, Christians, Muslims & non-religious folks.”

“What about Atheists?”

Bobby looked up for a moment weighing the question. “Sure, I know many Atheists who are good people. There’s no reason they shouldn’t be there, even if they don’t believe in God now.”

Greg took an unusually slow slip on his coffee, gathering his thoughts. “So you believe that good people go to heaven?”

“Yes! And—I must say—that’s much more inclusive and open-minded than you Christians,” Bobby said with a smile and a bit of satisfaction.

“Okay, now I’m confused,” Greg said throwing open his free hand.

“What do you mean?”

Greg leaned forward in his sofa chair. “I thought you were worried about Christians being too exclusive, but your view takes the cake!”

“I’m not sure I’m following you,” Bobby said hesitatingly, not wanting to take the bait. “What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe you can clarify this for me. You say that all kinds of good people—Muslims, Jews, Christians, and even good Atheists—will be in heaven because they have been, well, good.”

“Yes…?” Bobby was wondering where Greg was going with this.

“That view is much more ‘exclusive’ than what Christians believe.” Greg threw himself back into his chair shaking his head.

“How so?”

“What about the bad people?” Greg said protesting. “I mean, people who’ve broken the big commandments: liars, cheaters, murderers, adulterers? According to your view, they have no hope of heaven.”

“Okay. What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that your standard requirement for getting into heaven is that people have to be ‘good,’ but that excludes a lot of people.”

“Hmmm…okay. You got me," Bobby answered, somewhat sarcastically.

“Bobby, I’m not trying to get you. I’m just trying to understand your view."

"But that doesn’t exonerate Christianity’s exclusivity.”

"Look, everyone is exclusive on this issue, unless you want to say that everyone goes to Heaven when they die. But not many people want to say that. I mean, do you believe that Hitler will be in Heaven? There has to be an accounting, somehow. There has to be some kind of judgment for those folks, don’t you agree?”

Bobby nodded his head in agreement setting his coffee on the table. “Yeah, I can’t see God throwing open ‘the golden gates’ for the likes of Hitler, Moa-Tse Tung, Lenin, & the like,” he said as he threw open his arms in a big welcoming gesture.

Greg leaned forward again. “But here is the deal. Christianity says that there is hope for everyone, even for the really bad people too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if we take seriously what the Bible says, everyone has sinned against God, and nobody is perfect, not even one. Yet God requires perfection.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then what hope is there for anyone?”

“Well, that’s just my point. Here’s the heart of the Christian message: God himself came to earth in the person of Jesus Christ. He lived the perfect life, which means he loved God and others perfectly. And he voluntarily gave up his life when he died on the cross for people like you and me.”

“Okay," said Bobby as he was looking up tracking the argument. "I think I’m following you.”

“Do you know what the Apostle Paul said that I find so encouraging?”

“No, what?” They both stopped and looked up at a group of co-eds who entered the coffee shop laughing hysterically.

Greg & Bobby looked back at each other and busted out laughing, shaking their heads. After a moment, Greg continued, “He said something along the lines of, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”

“An Apostle of Jesus Christ said that he was the worst of sinners?” Bobby asked incredulously.

Greg nodded.

“Why would he say that?”

“Well, before he became a Christian, he was hunting down Christians and killing them. Speaking of his pre-Christian days, Paul said that he was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man.”

A light seemed to be going off in Bobby’s mind, “And Jesus somehow made the difference?”

“Exactly,” Greg said with a smile. “Paul went on to say that it was because of this very reason—that he was the worst of sinners—that he was shown mercy, so that the Lord Jesus might use him as an example of his patience towards those who would come to believe on him.”

Bobby leaned forward, “You mean to tell me that Paul was saying that his hope of heaven was not because he was good, but because he was bad.”

Greg chuckled reassuringly. “You're starting to get it. Paul wasn’t good, even though he excelled as a Pharisee—that is, a religious teacher,” he clarified. “In many ways, he had to abandon all hope in his goodness and throw himself at the mercy of Jesus.”

Greg paused to make sure Bobby understood. Bobby was nodding his head like it was all sinking in. “Go on,” he said.

That’s why I said earlier that a standard that says, ‘All good people get into heaven,’ is actually very exclusive, much more so than Christianity. Christianity says that even bad people have reason to hope for mercy if they believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, who died for only bad people.”

“I think I’m getting what you are saying.”

“Let that sink in. I truly believe that Christianity is unique, because it doesn’t tell you to go out and make religious pilgrimages, or to pray a certain number of times per day in a certain direction, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, or do x, y, & z. It tells you to abandon all hopes of impressing God with your goodness—because you can’t—and to believe in the Lord Jesus who actually saves people like us and people who are ‘worse’ than us and people who are ‘better’ than us.”

“Well Greg, this has been an interesting conversation. I have never seen things that way before.”

“I used to not, either. I’m glad we had this time to chat in between classes.”

The two rose and put on their backpacks.

“Me too. Maybe we can carry on this conversation later?”

“I’d love to. Because our hope is not really Heaven, but Heaven on earth.”

“Wow. We’ll definitely have to carry this conversation on later.”

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Jon Foreman is My Hero

I would say more, but really, what more needs to be said. Made me cry today as the conviction really set in about those who I tend to dismiss as lost causes. I pray that I will reach out to those who have no hope.

Somebody’s baby


She yells, "If you were homeless
Sure as hell you'd be drunk
Or high or trying to get there
Or begging for junk
When people don’t want you
They just throw you money for beer."

Her name was November
She went by Autumn or Fall
It was seven long years
Since the Autumn when all
Of her nightmares grew fingers
And all of her dreams grew a tear

She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
She's somebody's baby
Somebody's baby girl
And she's somebody's baby still

She screams, "Well if you've never
Gone at it alone, well then go ahead
You better throw the first stone
You got one lonely stoner
Waiting to bring to her knees"

She dreams about heaven
Remembering hell
As a nightmare she visits
And knows all too well
Every now and again
When she's sober she brushes her teeth

She's somebody's baby

Today was her birthday
Strangely enough
When the cops found her body
At the foot of the bluff
The anonymous caller this morning
Tipped off the police

They got her I.D
From her dental remains
The same fillings still intact
The same nicotine stains
The birth and the death were both over
With no one to grieve

She's somebody's baby

Friday, September 11, 2009

Read It

This is from my old RUF pastor's blog and I had to put up a link to his latest post.  Super convicting.  

Strange Discovery

I made a very strange discovery last night when looking up natural home remedies for dry hair (I've been having an epic battle with this since the beginning of time... or my time anyway) I discovered that olive oil is an incredible moisturizer.  I've used mayo before but it leave the hair way too greasy.  Olive oil on the other hand, works wonders.  Don't use too much and make sure to wash it out really well, but it just about the only thing that has put real shine into my hair.  I knew it was good for cooking but I had no idea it could be a natural beauty product.


Saturday, September 05, 2009

For Dinner Tonight

Baked trout: Bread crumbs, butter, salt, pepper, more butter, purple onion garlic, preheat the oven to 400 and bake 20 minutes.  I really don't do measurements and it tastes wonderful!

The Good Thing About Insomnia

Last night, despite the fact that I'd been very tired all day, I had a little bout of insomnia.  Until about four in the morning I was wide awake, but during that time I was able to spend a lot of time reading.  I realized that though I was frustrated, I was glad to have a little time to catch up on the books I keep saying I need to finish.  

What I'm reading:

  • Count of Monte Cristo (My goal is to finish it by the end of the year)
  • Emma (I read it when the Count is getting exhausting)
  • Don't Waste Your Life
  • Dispensationalism: Rightly Dividing the people of God?

Friday, September 04, 2009

Too Young...???

Tonight I was watching TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" and was completely floored.  One of the brides was told that they would dress her to look like Audrey Hepburn and she claimed that she was too young to know who that was.  Really?  She said she was 24.  Who doesn't know who Audrey Hepburn is?  Maybe that's a little silly, but it still surprises me and makes me laugh a little.  I guess not everyone grew up with old movies the way I did.  Anyone else think that's a little strange?


A Lesson in Instruction

The Lord said to Moses, "Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites." Numbers 13:1

This is the passage in Numbers where 12 men from the twelve tribes of Israel go out into Canaan to observe the people and the land.  When they come back, all but two of the men (Caleb and Joshua) create fear within the community, claiming that the people of Canaan were far too big, that they would not be able to defeat them.

Now.  God did not send these men into the land to assess the situation in order to change their plans, He sent them in to show them what He was giving to them.  They forgot what He had promised in the beginning, and because they forgot, they grew fearful, and because they grew fearful they disobeyed God.  In the end, that generation did not get to see the promised land.  Instead, they wondered the desert for 40 years until the last of them were dead.  Then, God fulfilled His promise through Joshua, who lead them into the promised land, taking on the supposedly impossible to defeat Canaanites.

I need to remember this in my day to day life as well.  That if God promises me something, my short comings will not get in the way.  In my weakness, He is strong.  How cool is that?

Ok Brian, here goes...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Awesome Quote

"The gospel is news, not a set of instructions."

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tattoos

"Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.  I am the Lord."  Leviticus 18:28

This is just to ask your thoughts.  Right before this verse it talks about not clipping the edges of your beard, so I'm wondering, where do we draw the line?  Am I missing something about the beards?  Maybe there's a bigger purpose in the beard thing.  I don't know.  What do y'all think?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Yikes

I don't even want to think about how ridiculously long it's been since I've posted on my blog, but things have been busy.  I know, no excuse.  But I've decided to ease back in.  So quick update.  Summer is over and my first two months at Christ EPC have been awesome and crazy.  We went through 1 Peter in bible study and in Sunday School (when I'm teaching) we've been going through a series about owning your faith.  I've also been given the task of creating a picture directory for the youth group, a little overwhelming, not really my talent (I'm very relational and I love teaching bible study and sunday school) but I know God has a lot to teach me through it.  Living alone has been an enjoyable and frustrating experience.  I love being able to invite people over whenever I want, I love not worrying about waking anyone up when I watch movies or work out in the morning, but there are times when it's lonely and when I get scared at night.  Again, a learning experience.  Learning to trust God, learning to rely on Him.  Finally, I just started going to singles bible study at Christ EPC and so far (after two weeks) I'm loving it.  It's nice to be taught and hang out with people my age.  

Prayer requests: 
  • That I would grow and mature, meaning that I would become a quiet and gentle spirit
  • That I would have God's peace
  • That God would work through me in the girls lives
  • That I would become way less self focused

A fun note:  Favorite food currently is goat cheese.  I'm putting it on absolutely everything!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Pure of heart?

"Only one of pure heart would risk their life for someone they loved.." The Mummy 3 (quote might not be exact).

Really?

Think about this: "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5: 6-8