Beloved: Reflection on Remembering Who(se) I am

Deuteronomy 33:12

About Benjamin he said: “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”

I am a recovering sin addict.  Though I was created to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, sin entices me daily and I chase after it like a druggie begging for another hit.  The “good deeds” I do are marred by bad motives that reveal them to be the filthy rags scripture calls them.  Apart from Christ’s sacrifice I would be spiritually dead.  I am prideful, self-worshiping, distracted, lazy.

I am beloved.

So often I remind myself of my sin, wanting to combat pride, wanting to understand more fully the grace shown to me on the cross, and while this is good, it often makes me forget my true identity.  Genesis says that we were created in the image of God, Psalms says we were knit together in our mother’s womb, Ephesians says that we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works”.  I, we, the Church, all need to balance the hard truth and the baffling one: we are more sinful than we could ever believe, but we are also more loved than we could ever imagine.  We are the beloved of God.

Hunger Games in Review: Twilight Part 2?

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/charmageddon_LexlErZlPi2iiSI5WH5QEP

Dystopia or just another emo teen drama? 

I’ve heard both ends of the spectrum and have been contemplating it myself a lot lately.  Is The Hunger Games a true satire of dystopia or is it just another stupid love triangle that feeds a young girls fantasy of being fought over?  There certainly is a bit of a love triangle woven through the pages of the novel and many young women have turned the two male characters into another version of Jacob and Edward in the Twilight series by forming “Team Gale” and “Team Peeta” groups, but in truth, the love story is rather peripheral in terms of purpose. 

As a reader myself, I was much more consumed with the greater elements of the story, such as the horror faced by the families and their children, the condemnation of entertainment at another’s expense, and the overindulgence of our own society mirrored in the attitude of The Capitol than I was with the love story.  And while this is most likely due to the fact that my major in college was English and I love writing and analyzing literature and art, this does not take away from the intention of the author.

The more I’ve thought about the book and movie and the questions surrounding the two, the more I realize that questioning the purpose of the book is really not a valid question at all.  The topic, the content, everything about the story lends itself to good discussion and consideration, and there is value in doing so.  Rather than questioning the books intentions as the writer of the article above does and honing in on the reason its audience (mainly Jr. High and High School aged girls) actually reads it, we as parents and mentors should really be encouraging discussion.

In the article from the NY Post, the author argues that the youth reading or watching The Hunger Games do not view the situation as horrific and rather see it as a grand adventure with the opportunity for fame and glory.  This is one of his main reasons for criticizing the story.  Maybe he’s right, maybe this is the way youth read the story, maybe they read and simply miss the point (for the record, most of the youth I’ve spoken with were fairly discerning about the content), but that can be true of just about any novel or work of art.  In my opinion, rather than bemoaning the fact that the point has been missed, as parents and mentors we should be encouraging discussion and challenging any shallow view the youth in our lives display. 

If our purpose on this earth is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, then His work of redeeming His creation is our work as well.  I’m not, of course, saying that everyone should read or go see The Hunger Games; it’s not for everyone and it’s definitely not for younger viewing audience, what I am saying is that we can and should use this as an opportunity for good conversation and discussion.  Let’s learn how to be good debaters and conversationalists, let’s strive to flee from the emotionally driven and illogical conversations that pepper the comment sections under articles on the internet.  Don’t follow the mob, take a beat and respond rather than react.

P.S. Especially in light of this post I welcome good discussion on my blog and really don’t just want to hear the sound of my own voice.  Don’t just comment if you agree, I want to hear if you disagree or see things from another perspective.  But keep it cool and appropriate or I will delete you. 

Little Things...

Easter is a dark time for little bunny foo foo...





Serving size: 1/2 rabbit

Lessons from a Vending Machine: Reflection on Church Discipline

Romans 6:1-3

¹ What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³ Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

At my office, out in the shop, we have a vending machine.  It carries Coke, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, and a few off brand soft drinks that I can’t remember right off hand.  When I first started working at my company, I was pretty excited about this, especially since two in the afternoon is my greatest enemy and a Diet Coke would be just the thing to cure the slump.  I soon learned, however, that the machine has a glitch.  When I press the button for Diet Coke the absolute worst thing happens; I receive a Root Beer.  Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I abhor Root Beer.  I think it is the second most vile soft drink on the planet, coming in just a hair behind Pepsi, and during my afternoon slump this does not go over well. 

Now, no one called me “unfair” or a “killjoy” when I called the repairman to come out and try to fix it.  The machine was created for a purpose, for our use and enjoyment, and it’s not functioning properly.  In fact, most people would consider a call to the repairman a fairly logical act and if I did not do so, I would be thought of as somewhat stupid and or lazy. 

This incident (still in progress, by the way) reminds me of the Christian life.  Just as the glitch causes the machine not to fulfill its purpose properly, so our sin hinders us from fulfilling our purpose in life.  We were created to love God and enjoy Him forever, yet in the garden we made the decision to rebel against Him and stop functioning as we should.  I don’t need to point out the havoc this has caused; we all see it every day as our own attempt to live for ourselves backfires and hurts everyone around us; we see war and famine and murder.  The world has a glitch and while we try and blame it on society and politics and even on the rain I think deep down we know the truth.  Humanity screwed up and it needs a savior.

I’m not going to go major cheese ball and call Jesus the repair man, but He did come and He did suffer our punishment for us.  The thing is, He didn’t just save us that we might be free from sin in the future, He saved us that we might fight sin daily, that we might begin to live free from its reign!  This is another reason why He gave us the Church, and why He set up discipline within the church.  If we continue in sin, we are not living as those who have been freed of it.  Our church families, our close friends, love us by helping us fight sin.  It hurts sometimes when we’re confronted, it feels unfair, but the fact is, we so desperately need that accountability.  It would not only be completely illogical and stupid for our Churches to ignore our sin and do nothing about it, but rather it would be unloving and lazy on their part. 

This should obviously not be something done lightly or with any amount pride, but it should, in fact, be done.  I pray that God will give me the humility and strength to both hold and be held accountable, I pray that the church will seek His guidance in such difficult matters, and that slowly but surely we will all begin to function as ones who have been set free to live as we were created to.   

Little Things: Reflection on God's Sovereignty

^{Luke 12:24-25
24} Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?


I feel like I learn this lesson over and over again, and I will probably continue learning it until the day I die and become fully aware of its truth: God is sovereign, even over the little things.  I had an important phone call I was waiting for, one that gave me some stress and anxiety and drove me to my knees in prayer.  It was scheduled first for Tuesday evening and rescheduled due to the epic stomach bug/strep that has been taking the Houston area by storm, then it was rescheduled Wednesday due to the unexpected for Thursday evening.  During this time, I was, of course, being very careful to charge my phone just in case it decided to die before the call came, thus causing a rift in the time continuum (what?  I saw ZZ Top in concert last week and Back to the Future is on the brain).


Well, Thursday morning I get a text asking if I could reschedule to have the call a little earlier.  At lunch I got the call and not two hours later, my phone died.  It's a little thing really.  I have a work phone and so it might not have been the end of the world, but it certainly would have been one more thing to be stressed about.  God was taking care of me even in that tiny little thing.  It was just a silly little phone, one silly little time adjustment, yet His timing was perfect.  I can only see a little piece of it, that one hours span of time in which certain things had to fall in place, but it reminds me that His timing is always the best, and He takes care of me.


God takes care of the ravens, the lilies of the field, and He even condescends to take care of me.  How had He taken care of you in the little things?

Unclean: Reflections on the Outcasts

Mark 1:40-42

 ⁴⁰ A man with leprosy^[f] came to him and begged him on his knees, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.”

 ⁴¹ Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” ⁴² Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.

I’ve read this passage many times over the years, but it recently struck me just how shocking Jesus’ actions truly are.  Leprosy made a person “unclean”; they could not enter the temple; they were cut off from worship; if you touched someone with leprosy, you were considered unclean as well.  Jesus, God in human form, touched this unclean man.  He didn’t have to.  He could have simply said “Be clean” and not taken that extra step, but instead, He touched him.  That was earth shattering, unthinkable, amazing.  Holy God touching unholy, unclean man and making him right, making straight what had been made crooked.

The implications for us today can sometimes be difficult to consider.  We don’t have the worship regulations of the Old Testament because of what Christ did on the cross; He’s made us clean, right before God (Acts 10:15).  But I do think our society has people that, in a way, are considered “unclean”.  It’s probably a bit of a stretch, and maybe not what you would assume, but bear with me.  These that we consider unclean, these people we try and disassociate ourselves from at all costs, are the socially awkward, the weird, the rude, the unintelligent, the annoying…the bigots.  Think about it.  Or rather, let me think about it.  Upon my high horse of either self-righteousness (in the case of the bigots and the like) or fear of being seen as socially awkward myself (in the case of the social outcasts) I do everything I can to separate myself from them.  I might snicker at a dorky comment, divert my eyes when they speak with me, gossip about a wrong they’ve committed, but whatever I do, I *do not* touch them.  After all, I wouldn’t want to be associated with *those people*, right? 

It’s ugly, disgusting, but very true.  I treat others as if they are unclean because I don’t want to become “unclean” myself.  But Jesus touched the unclean, He reached into their lives to make them right, to make *me* right.  God is convicting me a lot lately about this sort of thing.  It really hurts, but so does digging out a splinter.  I’m thankful for the work He’s doing and I’m praying that it will make me merciful and gracious to those who don’t deserve it and who may never show me kindness (or get a social clue ;-P).  I myself don’t deserve grace, but it’s been given to me, and that in itself should spur me on toward love and good deeds.

Anti-Folly Workout: Reflection on Patience

Proverbs 14:29

A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.

I made a mistake a long time ago; I asked God to teach me to be patient.  Well, let me clarify, I asked Him to give me patience.  What I didn’t quite realize was that this was a process, not a waving of a magic wand that suddenly makes me patient.  It means sitting in bumper to bumper traffic when I’m already late; it means the occasional slow internet; it means being stuck in a situation I don’t feel is “fair”; it means waiting on a desire to be fulfilled that I can’t believe with ever be…; it means realizing that I’m just a tad selfish…

Yeah, I know, I live a horribly deprived life (please hear the sarcasm coming in loud and clear).  The cool thing is that I’m learning that developing patience is kind of like working out a muscle; you can’t stick with the same resistance if you want to get stronger, you have to use heavier and heavier weight, and it hurts.  Right now I’m in a situation that’s really, really testing my patience, so much so that I’m somewhat physically antsy.  (Ok, so I’m totally physically antsy, but I’m trying to save myself a little dignity here)  I want so bad for God to hurry up and show me what’s going to happen, but I know the waiting is part of the process.  Without this part, without the building of my wimpy muscle of patience, I would be more prone to display folly…

At least now I’ll be able to hide it.

Seriously though, to all my readers, pray for my patience during this time.  Anyone else in a similar circumstance?  I’m more than happy to pray for you as well!

(Side note: Pretty beat after daylight savings time, love the sun in the evening, hate the lost hour…can I get an “amen”?)

When Things Fall Apart...



Might be time to go back to the Toyota place...



Addiction: Reflections on Serving Worldly Masters

1 Corinthians 6:12

“Everything is permissible for me”-but not everything is beneficial.  “Everything is permissible for me”-but I will not be mastered by anything.”

Are you an addict?  I am.  24 hours without coffee and I’m a grouch with a head that feels the size of New York.  Caffeine gets me up in the morning and keeps me going in the afternoon.  It is part of my morning routine and pity the fool who gets between me and what I crave.  I waste money on it, money I could be saving for good things like healthy food and rent.  I will dig between couch cushions for change in order to scrounge up 50 cents for the vending machine.  Caffeine is quite often my master, and really, it’s not the only thing.  My hormones, food, my desire for comfort… all these things cause me to step on others, grow irritable, become defensive…forget my true purpose in life: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  If the very thought of having to give up something makes me squirm, makes me want to defend myself and my desire for it, then I am addicted to it; I worship it; I honor it above the Lord.

“No one can serve two masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.”  Matthew 6:24

What command of God makes you feel as if He’s just being stingy and unfair?  What do you cling to with all your might?  Is it something obvious like alcohol, nicotine, pornography, or money?  Or is it something a little more subtle; like caffeine, control, the approval of others, or even maybe social anxiety that so makes you want to separate yourself from someone that you belittle them?  We all have worldly masters, masters that want to enslave and destroy us along with our relationships with others.  Only one Master can make us free, and only He can break our chains.  Ok, cheesy metaphor, yes, but it’s also true.  Christ gave up His rights, did not demand what He deserved (true justice; vengeance), but rather broke our chains on the cross, declared us free in the record books, and by the power of His Holy Spirit we are enabled to fight the things that master us (John 16:7).

Examine your life.  What masters you?  Stop.  Don’t think about someone else’s addiction/master think about yours.  What “right” or even “freedom in Christ” do you cling to that might just be mastering you?  What do you need freedom from?

Broken: Reflection on Idols

Hosea 8:6

“This calf - a craftsman has made it; it is not God.  It will be broken in pieces, that calf of Samaria.” 

God is destroying my biggest idol, me.  Like Israel, I worship that which God created rather than God Himself.  It sounds horribly prideful, and you know what?  It is.  And the sad thing is it’s true.  For all my “insecurities” I claim to have gotten from elementary and adolescent hell, I ultimately see myself as a) the protagonist/hero of my own internal monologue and b) as pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread.  Oh sure, I know how to play at humility, I know the words to use to alter others opinions of me, but ultimately, I worship me and I want everyone else to do it to!  Even now as I write I struggle with mixed motives and pride.  Do I sound like a horrible person?  Can I let you in on a little secret?  You probably do it too, maybe not to the same horrific degree that I do, but self-worship is still there. 

It started in the garden, really.  Adam and Eve decided that they wanted to be God, that they knew better than He did, that they wanted to decide what was right and wrong rather than allow Him to do so.  And they passed their genetic sin down through the generations.  We’re all born with it and it’s not just a sickness, it’s death.  Each one of us is a stillborn zombie under the distinct and ridiculous illusion that we are, in fact, alive.  I know because I’m the worst.

But by God’s mercy this idol of myself is being broken to pieces.  Years ago I would have admitted to self-worship, but the older I get the more true I see this to be.  The shine from my image fades and rusts daily as God makes me more aware of my sin, my weakness.  I’ve said before that my weakness is a benefit, and I’ll say it again.  The more I realize just how hopeless I am on my own, the more God is glorified in my life and the more useful I become.  My frustration with habitual sin shows me that I can’t conquer it myself, that I need His intervention, and it humbles me when confronted with the sin of others. 

It hurts, but I’m praying that God will continue to smash the idol in my heart and kick me off the throne that rightfully belongs to Him.  How is He doing the same to you?

Reading Now

Haven't done one of these in a while:

Review coming soon.

A Kind Word: Reflection on Encouragement

Proverbs 12:25

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

This world is crooked.  Sin has marred the beautiful creation God has made and while He is redeeming it, making it new, it is still full of thorns and brambles.  As humans we scar each other.  Even those of us who would generally be considered “nice” or “good people” act selfishly, lose our tempers…get grumpy.  The situations we are in weigh down our hearts and exhaust us, sometimes leading to depression and despair, and that doesn’t even take into account chemical imbalances that seek to sabotage our daily lives.  Life sometimes feels like one long work out that barely leaves time for the lactic acid to build up. 

How sweet, then, is a kind word?  Your entire day has been one huge mess.  Your boss asks you to do something that feels so out of your realm of talent and understanding that it leaves you with knotted stomach, aching brain, and clenched jaw; at least five people have yelled at you for whatever reason, most likely because they are frustrated with something or someone else and you just happened to be in the line of fire; someone cuts you off in traffic; you go home to an empty apartment with upstairs neighbors who seem to enjoy tap dancing and next door neighbors who have shouting matches around midnight. 

Then someone has a kind word for you.  It doesn’t suck away all the pain of the day; you’re still maybe a bit disgruntled, exhausted, but your view suddenly brightens, your spirits are uplifted, and things really don’t seem as impossible or gloomy as they did before.  Challenge today?  Offer a kind word, an encouragement, and remind someone they are not alone.

Burned: Reflections on the Church

Acts 20:28

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God,[a] which he bought with his own blood.[b]

Ever been burned by the church?  Left a church or just been hesitant to go back?  Have you become cynical towards corporate worship or said along with Gandhi “I like your Christ, I don’t like your Christians [because] they are so unlike your Christ?”  Ever considered that Christ formed the church to help sanctify us?

I always find myself somewhat frustrated when people bash “the church”, especially with blanket statements and while I’ll be the first to admit a lot of this is my own sinful pride, I think some of my frustration is justified.  The church universal (Christianese Translation: All whom Christ has saved) is a bunch of recovering sinners/recovering dead people who are working to kick old habits as the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit sets them apart from what they used to be.  Therefore, hanging out together is probably going to be painful!  Yeah, we’ve been made new, but we’re not perfect yet, and our imperfections bumping into each other are part of what teach and change us.  It’s not dealing with sweet people that make us patient, it’s dealing with the ones that drive us absolutely crazy! 

There is, of course, a caveat and always room for discipline.  If a local church (one part of the body) begins teaching something that goes against scripture something should be done, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be abandoned right away.  Instances like this challenge us to search the scriptures, defend what we believe, seek the Lord’s wisdom, practice humility, patience, love, and gentleness in confrontation!  Again, the church helps to sanctify us.  There comes a point when one might have to leave such a church, but this should not be done lightly.  In the same vein comes general conflict.  If someone sins against you there are very clear instructions in scripture about how to handle the situation.  Matthew 18:15 describes the process, and the goal is always reconciliation and redemption.  That’s what being part of the body of Christ is all about!  Redemption, bringing about Christ’s kingdom.

I’m not saying the Church always does things right and many, many things have been done in the name of Christ that are wrong, but I think we need to be careful.  It is so easy to condemn and crucify others than consider our own wrong doing and we all would prefer to take the comfortable, less complicated, less painful way out.  I’m speaking for myself because I’m the worst.  My challenge is to remember that Christ came to save the Church as a body, not just individuals, and to love them because He did.

Praise and Cursing: Reflection on Language

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 3:9-12

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Growing up in a Christian home and in largely Christian circles, most of the “talk” that surrounded me was fairly “wholesome”.  People did not use profanity and even words like “butt” and “crap” were frowned upon.  On retreats I distinctly remember other students talking about how their experience from the weekend had lead them to try not to curse anymore and I know that I self-righteously judged those at my school who used foul language.  It wasn’t really until college that my pretty little world began to get really shaken.  I met Christians who did not adhere to the “rules”, who used words that offended and rattled me.  In one conversation with a friend on the subject, he noted an article by a Christian who was almost arguing in defense of profanity, which of course left me indignant.  How could “they” justify using such language?  How could “they” choose unwholesome talk?  What I didn’t realize was that it really wasn’t “those people” who were shaking up my thinking, but rather, it was God.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but all of a sudden my ears were opened.  The words I was using were thrown into the spotlight, their ugliness exposed and painfully vivid.  No, I wasn’t using words that strictly qualified as profanity, but neither was my language wholesome.  I started to see that my criticism of others was tantamount to cursing them, that my harsh tone was salt on wounds, that my loss of temper tore down rather than built up.  I was claiming to be a fresh stream yet spewing salt water.  The absence of crass jokes and “swear words” did not make my language pure and certainly did not justify me in God’s sight.  I did not meet the mark but fell far short of it (Romans 3:23).  Worse still, God made me realize that my black and white view of things had given me a false sense of self-righteousness and that I’d set myself up on a pedestal from which I looked down on others as if I had somehow not fallen short at all.

Don’t misunderstand; I’m not necessarily justifying obviously foul language, rather I’m challenging a thorough examination of all the language we use.  Do the tones and words we use tear down or build up?  Is God glorified in everything we say or are we glorified?  Do we use our own standards to judge others and proclaim our own “righteousness” or do we look to the cross and humbly realize that our only hope of righteousness is the unearned righteousness given to us by Christ?  I pray for conviction, I pray for mutual encouragement among the believers, I pray that Christ will be glorified in every word we use.    

Glorious Ruins: Reflections on Stewardship

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."  Genesis 1:27

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."  Psalm 139:13

I heard on the radio the other day that Houston is the fattest city in the US.  Obviously, being from here and rather enjoying health and fitness this information bothered me.  I don't know how accurate this statistic is or even how they measured it (and the conspiracy theorist in me wants to call shenanigans) but the idea is a little scary.  On the other hand, I know both women and men who struggle with body image; they're too fat, not pretty, not strong enough, not good enough... I hear it whether it's out loud or implied and struggle with the same problem myself.

What I forget are what these verses say and what they ultimately mean.  God created us in His image.  I don't really know exactly what this means as God is a spirit, but I do know that it means we have value and worth beyond what we think we should look like.  Secondly, God knit us together in the wombs of our mothers.  Yet another indication that God took time to form us, that He cherishes us, that He put each of us together individually.  Yes, sin has marred this work, but it does not take away from God's initial act.  We are "glorious ruins" according to my associate pastor, Nathan Carico (he may have borrowed the statement from someone else, but I'll attribute it to him for now).  This is where we need to start, at the point where we realize that the God of the universe formed us individually in His own image.

But we need to remember something else as well.  God tasked man kind to take care of His creation, and I believe that includes our bodies.  This doesn't mean focusing all of our time and energy on how we look and what we eat, but I do think it means putting good things in our bodies and getting our butts off the couch and moving! Not for the sake of looking like some airbrushed model on the cover of a magazine, but for the sake of taking care of the physical body God gave to us.  So I challenge you, and me, to think about how we can best take care of this little part of God's creation and to remember what He created us to be in the first place.

Firm Foundation: Reflection on God's Character

“Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant.  For Your sake, Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary.  Give ear, our God, and hear; open Your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears Your Name.  We do not make requests of You because we are righteous, but because of Your great mercy.  Lord, listen!  Lord, forgive!  Lord, hear and act!  For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear Your Name.”  Daniel 9:17-19

God does what He does because of who He is.  Maybe that seems obvious, but I’m not sure any of us really understands it fully, or maybe it’s just that we don’t really believe it deep down.  This is evidenced by the way we live and think.  No, I don’t mean our trained responses in church or our Christian circles, us Church rats know the “right answers” and pretty words that make us sound smart and spiritual; I mean the core belief that informs our actions and habitual thought processes.  Let me give an example.

I know, as a fact, that the bible says God loved the world enough to send His son to die for sins so that we might be drawn near to Him.  I can quote John 3:16 and 1 Peter 3:18 to prove this.  I also know that when I “confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive [me my] sins and purify [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  Yet, after I fall into sin (translation from Christianese: pretty much anything stupid) I am stuck with feelings of guilt and frustration long after I’ve confessed it.  Why?  Because even though I know the truth, I don’t always believe it, as is evidenced by my feelings.

As usual, I doubt I’m the only one who struggles with this. 

So what’s the problem?  Why can’t I make this head knowledge heart knowledge?  I think one of the reasons (and there are probably many more) is that another belief is getting in the way.  I think what I really believe is that God’s love for me is based on me!  And why not?  I’ve read in a thousand different fairy tales/romantic movies (etc.) about heroes falling for heroines because of “X”.  They see their lady and are enthralled; first by her beauty and later by her character.  It is because of her that they will slay dragons and face perils, it is because of her that they will risk life and limb, it is because of her that they might die in battle!  Rarely do we read about a hero who fights for a bitter, old hag.  If you can think of such a story let me know, because I sure can’t. 

These stories make sense to our human minds; for, after all, why would anyone fall in love and risk everything for someone ungrateful, someone unworthy?  But God is not human nor does He have a human mind.  God loves His creations because He is a loving, relational, and merciful creator and because He has stamped His image on us.  We’ve marred it, made it ugly, we are ungrateful, unthankful, unfaithful, and give the worship He deserves to other things.  Yet, He sacrifices Himself for us; redeems us; makes us beautiful. 

This is the truth I need to remember, the truth we all need to remember.  It needs to replace our messed up beliefs and work to change the way we live and think. We can’t do this on our own we need the Hold Spirit to invade and uproot the lies in our hearts and help us stand on the firm foundation that is God’s character rather than the weak one that is our own.

Father's and Sons: Reflections on Intentionality

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

 This morning I was greatly encouraged. Often on Friday mornings I will stop by the Starbucks near my apartment to celebrate the coming weekend and on this particular Friday, I saw two people I recognized. Sitting in the corner by a window were a father and son from my Church. The boy, who I believe is about ten years old, was wearing his pajamas and munching on what was probably more of a brownie than anything and sipped chocolate milk while his father, in mesh shorts and a t-shirt, was attempting a healthier meal of pita bread and apples. It was, of course, fairly early in the morning but both were grinning and I got a good wave from the son who saw me first. After a short chat they told me that this was their special breakfast and that they tried to do it every other Friday. On the Fridays the dad did not go with his son, he went with his second oldest, his daughter.



Aside from being uplifted just by seeing good friends (family really as we share the same Heavenly Father) so unexpectedly and so early I was encouraged for a deeper reason. In a society where there are so many physically/spiritually/emotionally absentee fathers, seeing a dad being intentional with his kids literally fills my heart with joy. This man does not just see his duty as a husband and a father to be merely a bread winner, rather, he sees that he needs to be a spiritual provider and trainer, and he acts on that duty.

 I pray that all fathers would have this attitude. I pray this specifically for my future husband, that he would have a heart for our children and the spiritual wellbeing of our family. I pray this for everyone, for you don’t have to be a mother or father to be intentional with those around you; young, old, wise, or foolish. May God give us tender hearts and encouraging words, may we uplift one another, and spur each other on to good deeds.

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A Challenge to Singles on Valentine's Day: Reflections on Love

^“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  Mark 10:46

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus… Philippians 2:1-5

It’s common around this time of year amongst singles to joke (complain...gripe, add your own verb here___) about Valentine’s Day.  If you’re like me, you try to laugh about the day centered around romantic love and displayed by flowers and chocolate and candlelit dinners, by dubbing it “Singles Awareness Day", proclaiming that you will buy yourself a comfort gift, and spend the evening with the only men who will ever be faithful; Ben and Jerry (for the record, I prefer Blue Bell, but the title did not work for my “clever” and “completely original” joke). 

Quite obviously, such jokes are rarely more than thinly veiled loneliness and, let’s be honest, a bit of narcissistic bitterness.  Maybe that sounds harsh, but if I’m being brutally honest with myself, then it really is the truth.  My heart aches with a longing for marriage and romantic love and quite often becomes jealous of those who have found it.  This entire month, not just the day itself, seems like one big reminder than I am still “alone”, still single, and sometimes it’s hard to deal with.  How easy it becomes to slip into a “woe is me” state of mind, to mumble and grumble about how “nothing ever seems to go my way” and blah, blah, blah.  It looks absurd as I type it now, but appears to be the most solid logic when I think it in my own head, and I sincerely doubt I am the only one tumbling around with these thoughts.

Add to the mix well intentioned friends who want to set you up with “the greatest most perfect guy (girl if I have any male readers)” and things get more complicated.  At first I loved this idea.  (Dude!  He comes with a recommendation!)  Then I discovered that my over analytical mind doesn’t really deal with one on one set ups too well.  So on top of feeling lonely on this day, I then begin to feel guilty!  I’m hurting other people’s feelings by not liking the guys they’ve introduced me to!  I must have a fear of commitment! I’m so ungrateful!  There must be something wrong with me!  Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah…

Again, I don’t believe I’m alone in this black hole of internal dialogue.  What I do believe is that this “Singles Awareness Day” I’m being challenged and majorly convicted.  In the verses I have listed above we are encouraged to have the same attitude as that of Christ.  Jesus, the Word with God from the beginning, through Whom and for Whom all things were made, became flesh to be a servant to those who hated him, to die for those who deserved to die. He didn’t come to be served and loved and pampered, he came to wash stinky feet and suffer His own righteous wrath for evil He did not commit.  His love is so great that He gave dirty, rotten evil doers His righteousness that we might be able to enter into the presence of a holy, holy, holy God and be called co-heirs with Him!

So what the heck does that have to do with Valentine’s Day?  Everything.  Aside from being the most baffling love story in history, it is a challenge and a reminder to all of us, not just singles, to love and serve others above ourselves. It deeply convicts me when I find myself in that black hole of narcissism and focuses my vision first upward and then outward.  It impresses upon me the great love lavished on me (1 John 3:1) and challenges me to lavish similar love on others.

God is challenging me this month.  When I start to think about how lonely and “unloved” I feel, I need to first, remember His love for me, and second, to seek to show others His love as well.  Rather than grumble about “Singles Awareness Day” I am praying to have an attitude the same as that of Christ, and focus on serving and loving those around me.

Even if He does not...: Reflection on Prayer

"Oh Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.  If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."  Daniel 3:16-18

In light of certain death, three men from Israel refused to bow before a king and his powerless god.  With confidence, they told him that their God, the one true God, had the ability to save them.  Yet, with an attitude I doubt many of us had today, they were willing to burn to death if He chose not to do so.  How could they do this?  Because they knew they served the mighty and good God of the universe, and that His plans were bigger and farther reaching than their own little lives.  They were willing to suffer and die with the knowledge that God could save them, but might chose not to.

Do we live and pray with this attitude?  Do I live with the knowledge that God could make me happy or comfortable in a situation and praise Him even when He does not?  Do I believe that His plans are better than mine?  Or do are all my pretty words just head knowledge?

What do you really believe?