Last week we got back from Camp Barnabus, and I think it is safe to say that the week I spent there was the hardest week of my life thus far. I was paired with a camper rather than spending that time with the Jr. Highers we went with, and while I still question the wisdom in the camp director's decision to do this, I will say that God really taught me a lot. He humbled me. This is something I wrote one night before bed while I was there.
"I am so very much like Evin in my relationship with God. There are times when I ask Him a thousand questions that I've asked Him countless times before, where I love Him and praise Him and thank Him, and ask Him for helps, and then there are times when I yell at him and shove Him away, tell him to "Leave me alone!" I was frustrated with Evin for yelling at me and telling me to go away, I still get frustrated when she tells me those things and physically brushes me off, but she is most certainly serving to remind me of the way I treat God. Constantly, He is helping me and leading me, and loving on me, and though sometimes I thank Him, more often than not I shove Him away out of stubbornness and arrogance. Though I am tired and would honestly rather be hanging and connecting with the CEPC girls, I am thankful for this time with Evin, and I know that God brought me here for a reason.
Lord, continue to give me Your mercy, patience, love, and energy. Continue to use this time to mold me into the woman You need me to be to advance your kingdom. In Jesus name, amen."
I am learning that God teaches us through sin and its effects. How could we know what God's mercy was if it were not for sin? How could we know the depth of His grace were it not for sin? How could we know what true love was, were it not for sin? As much as I hate sin I am thankful for it, because I know God has had a plan since before time began, and I am thankful for a good and sovereign God.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Crazy times often lead to slacking off blog-wise, though i can't say I'm all that consistent anyway. To all my loyal readers (I believe there may be one and a half ;-)) I apologize. I just started my new job and I'm really enjoying it. Right now I'm trying to get a good focus on what I want to do exactly, if I want to do some individual studies with the girls like going through a book or something else. I think that asking them what they want to do would be a good course to take. Right now I'm mostly trying to get everyone's numbers and get to know the girls a little better. This weekend we had a sleep over with the upcoming sixth graders and I got very little sleep. On top of that, the next morning I went to Ikea with a few of the Jr. High girls, ate breakfast (yes, Ikea serves breakfast, and for $2 no less), and walked around the store. Then, I went to a graduation. Needless to say I passed out when I got home. Sunday was busy too as I didn't really have time to go home after church and get my Sunday afternoon nap but the Nerd Search was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it. I think that the people at the Galleria enjoyed our strange costumes almost as much as the students did.
This week I'm heading off with the Jr High to Camp Barnabus on a mission trip for a few days and then next week, drum roll please, I am finally moving into my new apartment! I have to say that I'm am very excited because I think that part of my exhaustion recently is because I live so far from the church, not to mention the fact that it will now be much easier for girls to come over and watch a movie or eat lunch or something like that. And now that I've gotten all the electricity, internet, and renters insurance taken care of, the last step is move in day! Yay!