Beyond the comfort of the norm and the safety of what’s
known, beyond the out stretched arms of parental care, beyond the reach of
certainty and assurance…Falling is a scary thing, the world rushing past as
everything races through your fingers slipping away like water rushing back
into the ocean, never knowing the end result, anticipating the…
Stop.
Is it falling or taking a leap? Will the ground rush up under me so fast that
every bone will break? So that all
things will fall completely and utterly apart?
Will everything shatter when I make this decision? So uncertain, so unstable, so beyond…
Panic starts tight in my chest, a rushing beat that floods
my brain and chases away sleep. It’s
warm here, too warm beneath even the thin sheets of my bed, even beneath the
clicking fan set on high. To remain in
place sucks away my energy and joy, brings frustration, but to move might prove
to be catastrophic.
It’s too risky. It
won’t work out. How will you
survive? Just stick with what is steady
and stable, with what is guaranteed and simple, what’s solid. It’s hard but there’s very little risk
involved.
Just lying in bed staring over the edge of a cliff and
wondering at the potential effects of a particular decision. Gravity tugging from one end, fear pulling
back with grasping fingers as nagging thoughts insist on the safer route. Better not to risk it, better to remain in
place, in the suffocation.
Is it falling if sure arms are there to catch you even if
you can’t see them?
Fear lays behind but the rush of adventure, of change, of
newness beckons from beyond. Leaving the
safety of the ledge is terrifying, but what lays beyond it? Is there gain in the venture? Is the fall really so dangerous that I would
rather curl up and remain in place? Sit
in the stagnation? Refuse to move
forward?
But is it wise? Is it
the best move? Is it really something
You want me to do? I’m scared of falling
but I know taking a leap while trusting in You is never really a risk. For even if I fall your arms are there to
catch me, to heal broken bones and sooth scrapes and bruises. Help me know how to fall…
5 comments:
scary and exhilarating all at the same time! i keep thinking back to the first time i dove off a 10 m platform... leaning over and slowly... falling off then plunging rapidly...
both slow and fast are a part of a fall!
stopping by from 5mf.
Beautiful! Falling into Him...I'm joining you! Blessings to you!
Courtney,
I do believe there is gain in the venture. Yep, sure do. Nice write, girly.
Visiting from 5MF. Nicely done. There is at times more to gain from an attempt, a fall than from sitting tight and secure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Visiting from FMF...your writing is beautiful. In risking there is always falling. In falling there is learning. In learning there is more risking!!
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