Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Who I Am

I almost didn't post today.  For the last few months I've been pretty good about having my writing scheduled out so that even when school got busy I could just throw it up easy peasy.  But lately, things have been hectic at work, taking on the receptionist job along with my human resources duties, and at home where I've been finishing my term paper and studying.  It hasn't been easy, and while on the one end I really enjoy the things I'm learning, on the other I'm exhausted...

I had a friend once ask me how that was possible because I didn't have any kids, and that really hurt.  It was as if the assumption was that I come home, slouch on the couch, and eat frozen dinners every night.  It rubbed in the fact that I haven't (yet?) been blessed with kids.  It belittled my tired.

It also socked me in the pride.

I have a problem when it comes to defining myself.  I am single, I am not a mom, I am a receptionist and administrative assistant, I am a bit of a geek... There's just one problem with these things.  They really aren't who I am.  Sure they are aspects of who I am, they are characteristics, but they do not define me, not ultimately.  If I allow myself to be defined by such things then my pride is easily injured, my aspirations often crushed, my mood darkened and embittered because I feel like a failure.  But if I view myself as what I really am, only then can I stand firm.

So who am I?  Galatians 4:6 says "Because you are sonsGod has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Genesis 1:27 says that I was created in His image.  Psalm 139 says that He knit me together in my mother's womb, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  This is who I am.  I belong to the God of the universe Who formed me with His hands, Who wrote my story, Who loves me even when I screw up because He suffered for my sin before I even committed it.  This is what I need to rest on, this is who I need to remember I am.

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