Monday, June 04, 2012

Psalm 73: Reflections on (the day after) My Birthday

Psalm 73:1-3

Surely God is good to Israel,  to those who are pure in heart.  But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;  I had nearly lost my foothold.  For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 

Yesterday I turned 27.  It was a very good birthday.  A sweet friend made me chocolate-chocolate chip banana bread, I got birthday cards, great gifts, and my mom and brother took me to Olive Garden.  I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be by now.  

Before college I assumed that by the end of four years I'd be married.

Before graduation I assumed I'd have found my calling in Peru...and be married.

A year after graduation I assumed I'd be in vocational youth ministry for a long time.

Last year I thought I'd be out of Texas, in youth ministry.

I see lots of my friends experiencing what I view as success and, to be utterly honest, I envy them.  It's hard to see "the wicked" succeed.  You don't understand why, despite the horrible things they did to you in high school or jr. high, or elementary school, they are getting everything you want.  But honestly, sometimes it's almost harder to see your friends succeed.  It's not that you don't want them to.  No, you really do so desperately want to see them happy; but you also want what they have, and the envy you feel brings greater guilt than what you feel when seeing your "enemies" succeed.

It's a hard thing to rejoice in the success of others sometimes, but what I'm being reminded of is that God has the best plan for me.  

My pastor told a story on Sunday that illustrated this really well.  His wife was trying to find a parking space near his building and so she called him for help.  He, quite a few stories up, was able to see the whole parking lot and direct and guide her through the process.  It didn't necessarily make the process go faster, but being connected with one who had the bigger perspective was infinitely helpful.  God not only has the bigger perspective, but He is sovereign over the occurrences of my life.  The more I connect with Him the more I am able to rejoice and to trust and to give my frustration to Him.

I'm praying that God will help me to rejoice with those who rejoice and to see the good He is working in my life.  I thank Him for 27 years of His guidance, of His blessing of good friends and family, and His constant provision.  

1 comment:

marigirl said...

there's a woman at my church here who got married at 34, and she and her husband decided they wanted all the kids they could get. She's in her mid-40s now and has baby #5. Not that you want 5 babies, but maybe you should try to get a job in Pensacola! ha ha. ...but really.