One Night Sleep, Oh You're Never Gonna Get it

This post may be a little discombobulated and I've just woken up from a short nap and am still sleepy from my late night last night.  I made the mistake yesterday of reading an article about why people like horror movies because I still have a hard time understanding the appeal.  This was a mistake because it put thoughts in my mind that kept me up very late and had me nervous to go to sleep.  Illogical, yes, but my brain is often run by imagination rather than logic.  I've been praying about it for years and hope that my future residence in this apartment, alone, will be a great learning experience.  

The main reason I write this post is to thank Janelle for her comment and the bible verse she left.  "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety."  Psalm 4:8.  Sometimes I forget that scripture is a weapon, that we can, and should, use it to go into battle against our sin and spiritual warfare.  I tend to leave it in academia and the pursuit of knowing God better, and while it is most assuredly for these purposes it is also to be used in times of trouble and temptation.  The fears that torment me at night, are part of spiritual warfare because of the lies they make me believe and just the exhaustion they create.  They make me believe the lie that there is something outside of God's control, that in some way He can't protect me from whatever it is that I fear.  They make me feel utterly alone and ashamed even though God is right there to protect me.  They take my focus off of praising God and center it on me.  

I need to remember that God alone makes me dwell in safety and that the things I fear have no power on their own.  I give them power over me.  Last night I fell asleep repeating Psalm 4:8 over and over again, trying to remind myself that God's the one in charge of the situation.  I pray that the verses will grow in their power in my life and that my fears will weaken, though it may be something I struggle with for the rest of my life.

It's Official

Yes, that's right, I officially start my new job May 31, 2009.  I must say I am super stoked and look forward to it.  Ever since high school I have wanted to go into youth ministry, to build relationships with girls and encourage them to build relationships with God and those around them, to encourage them to reach out to their communities to show the world what it really means to be a Christian (i.e. not just someone who goes to church but someone who loves God, people, all people, and knows what it means to be a servant), and to encourage unity among themselves, and here's my chance.  My prayer is that God will work through me, because if it's my work alone it will all be in vain.  On my own I'm nothing, I have no power to do anything other than destroy and nothing is accomplished, but with God all things are possible, and He can work through me in mighty ways.  It's very humbling to realize just how little I can do on my own.  But it's also a relief.  It's a relief because I know that despite my cruddy witness He can still bring people to Himself because "neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow."  How awesome is that?

On the down side, I had to change my move in date for my apartment to the 20th of June.  This actually is better in that my parents will be in town and it's not on the same date as when we're on a mission trip, but it's bad because until then it's a 45 (or so) minute drive to the church.  However, I will continue to be thankful that I found an apartment close to the church and that June's rent will be less expensive.  So, no complaints in the long run!

So, about the slackerness...

I go through periods where I'm really bad about updating my blog, and this is one of those times.  I've had access to the internet, I've had plenty of time on my hands as I haven't started working yet, and I really don't have any other excuse except laziness, so I'll chalk it up to that.  I'm still feeling lazy so at the moment I'm simply giving a small update.  So far I've mostly just been catching up with old friends, finding an apartment (move-in date June 13th!), and sweating it out while waiting to find out about my job.  It's been wonderful spending time with my family and seeing old friends but I cannot wait to start working.  The students at Christ EPC are awesome and I look forward to discipling and having fun with the girls.  I also can't wait to move into my new apartment.  

If you know me, you know that I have some fear issues.  The wrong movie or even preview for a movie can cause me many a sleepless night, so the prospect of living alone for the first time in my life is a huge leap.  I think this will be an awesome opportunity for me to work on trusting God because I will have no one else around to comfort me when I'm scared.  The only way for me to get over a fearful night will be to pray and trust God to give me strength.  This will also be a great way to invite students over to the apartment and not have any roommates to worry about bothering.  It's a little more expensive not to have a roommate, but that will also help me to learn to budget better.  

So, there you go.  Keep me in your prayers!   

Home!

So good to be home.  As nice as having showers that stay warm the whole time you are in them, and as much as I love having carpet that I greatly missed, and as amazing as being able to drive is, the best part of being home is family and friends.  Seriously.  I have missed them so much and I am so glad to be with them again.  I've gotten to hang with them a lot and look forward to (hopefully) working near them in the future.  I'm also thankful that my computer is fixed.  For those of you who do not know, the spine was cracked and I was afraid that the whole thing was going to snap in half.  Thankfully, the Apple store was able to fix it.  

Up and coming: Hannah's bachelorette party tonight, rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, wedding Saturday, and then Sunday I'll be teaching Sunday School at Christ EPC.  Please continue to keep me in your prayers.  They are always much appreciated.

Two-thirds done...

Another quick update.  God is so good.  I made it to Ft. Lauderdale without event and the airline didn't even lose my luggage!  This trip is already way better than the one last year.  Now I just have one more plane to go, a drive home, maybe a quick shower and then I can take a nap.  I'm sure that somewhere in there I will be hugging parents and all that jazz, but right now all I can think of is sleep!  Of course the flight wasn't so bad as I ended up in the back with three seats to myself!  I stretched out and the only thing that would have made it more perfect was if I'd had a blanket - my feet were so cold!  Spirit airlines did not provide a blanket, but I was so happy to have those three seats!

Looking forward to getting home!  No pictures, I look like I've been sitting in an airport for fourteen hours and have just flown five hours overnight to the U.S.  Not pretty at all.

Leavin' on a jet plane...

A quick update: I am in the Lima airport.  The countdown: six hours and 57 minutes until my plane takes off for the U.S.  Prayer requests: safe travels and no lost bags!  Also, no swine flu.  Haha!  There are so many people wearing masks in the airport that it's a little creepy.  But I regress.  Looking forward to seeing everyone again.

Me and Gregory sitting in Starbucks.  Yes, I am 23 and I have a bear I take with me on planes.  They are excellent pillows in a pinch.